or brussel sprouts? Or cauliflower? Oh, sure, lots of people eat it, but frankly, it’s awful. That shit is only useful as a transport device to get something that tastes good into your mouth. Cold, raw broccoli and carrots and etc, is just something you eat after you dunk it in dip; the dip is really what you’re after, the vegetable just allows you to get it into your mouth without getting it all over your fingers. The veggie does add some texture, but usually the texture is ick. Me, I prefer chips.

Cooked veggies, on the other hand, are usually a way toget some kind of butter or other sauce to your mouth, without getting it all over yourself- or for that matter, just drinking the sauce out of a bowl.

No, the Creator has kindly provided us with a method for getting all the nutrients we need from those frankly, disgusting vegetables, and that method involves the lowly hog.

The hog will eat anything. Put a pile of cowshit in front of it and it will eat it. Brussel sprouts? No problem. Brocolli? Yum! Cauliflower? for sure! And it’s not just the good and fresh stuff they like, you can feed a hog veggies so rotten as to be ten times as disguisting as they are fresh. The hog just gobbles it all up.

And what does the hog turn this crap into? Bacon. Ham. Porkchops. Jowls. Trotters. All food that is intrinsically yummy. So what I do, is to let the hog do all the work of eating that crap for me, and I eat the bacon.