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I’m tired of this bullshit.

Look. Covid is real. There is no question of that.
It isn’t any more of a threat to young healthy individuals than the flu. This is well known, and if you disagree, you’re wrong. This is not a matter of opinion, it’s a matter of verifiable fact. All the scaremongering in the world won’t change that. it is something more of a threat to older people or people with comorbidities, but there are known treatments that will allow even those people to survive. Yes, HCQ plus Zinc plus Azithromycin is an effective treatment, and all the scaremongering in the world will not change that. Yes, there are people for whom it is contraindicated. This is true of literally every medication. The medical profession, left to it’s own devices, will find ways around that, assuming that the government does not seek to politicise it.

The mask mandates are not only stupid they are dangerous. if you think wearing a mask is a good idea, let me explain something to you. When you put on any kind of breathing protection to protect you from X, you must do so in an area that is completely free of contamination from X. And I mean, completely free, and certified to be so. Which means, not your house, or car, or outdoors. This works in hospitals because the prep areas are sanitized. Everywhere else, it’s useless. Put on your mask and put a piece of kleenex over it and hold it there for a couple of minutes while you breathe. If you are not already dead, in a few minutes it will become damp. “Droplet theory” is the rawest bullshit. Even if “Droplet theory” were meaningful, droplets dry out, which then means those viruses you are sure you’re trapping get blown out with the next breath. Sure, you can wash the masks, how many masks do you have? How many times a day are you changing and washing them? Let me assure you, it’s not enough. “But some protection is better than nothing!” OK. Take a condom and use a paper punch to knock a few holes in it near the tip. Some protection is better than none, right? I’d ask if you see how stupid you sound, but I already know you can’t, because you already have a list of excuses why I’m wrong and you’re right. And all they are are excuses, not reasons, because they are founded in fear and not logic.

I could go on and on about this but as I’ve said I’m tired of it. I’m disgusted that my freedoms are being traded away because of pussies terrified of something that can be killed by handwashing. I’m upset that I have had to block people I care for because they won’t take off the talisman of their new religion and let their testicles descend again. I have heard every stupid excuse and they can all be crushed by the tiniest bit of logical thought, and nobody is bothering to think, preferring their fears and their false (Utterly, utterly false) sense of security over logic and reason. I’m done. Fuck off. There will be repercussions if I lose my freedom because of your fear.

Just as I was about to get my shit in one sock

I lose Jenny. A couple of weeks in, it still stings. I am still pretty beaten down about it.

The first couple of times I lost people near my age it was not as hard, it think. Suicide, that was hard, but it was suicide. Industrial accidents, well, this was the life we had chosen for ourselves.

To have someone nearly my age die of natural causes just brings that a little closer to home, I guess.

Still.

On grieving

I am a natural born stoic. For most of my life I have done a pretty good job of reining in my emotions. Occasionally anger has managed to break through but I have not allowed that anger to become physically violent since my early teens. Any more I can stand up and walk off anger most of the time.

These days about the only thing that makes it through is grief. And even then I have to control it. Otherwise I am easily overwhelmed.

The first person I lost who did overwhelm me was my father, more than half of my life time ago. I was a wreck for months.

Since then I have had to carry a lot of beloved family members and dear friends to holes in the ground. It has not gotten easier. I have grown more accustomed to it.

I have not begun to process the demise of my friend Jenny. My natural stoicism understands the depths of this grief and will not allow the reality to make contact with my understanding. I know this information but I can’t let it get anywhere near my emotions or I will be wrecked. It’s like a recent tooth extraction, you know that hole is there but you know better than to jam the tip of your tongue into it or the pain will return.

So I am coasting along on autopilot continuing to live my life and do the things that I do knowing that I hold in my mind a hand grenade of grief. Someday My grip on it will loosen and it will all come flooding in and I will not be able to control it

This is not new, I have had this same experience on multiple occasions, it is a process I am used to. When I have to go through this process I reach out to somebody who is good at helping me to fit that grief into my life in a way that allows me to go on.

For me that somebody was always Jenny.

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