Having spent some time in Dallas monday and tuesday, I am reminded what heat and humidity will do for you, when you’re a big fat bastard.

Now, i sweat. A lot. I figure I have thre to five times as many sweat glands as the next person, based on skin acreage alone, but the worst is the sweaty balzac. I tend to get most moist in the nether regions, and as all big guys will tell you, it’s time for the Gold Bond.

Gold Bond medicated powder is packed with menthol, and when you put it on, no matter how dry you are, it’s a fine burn to the balls. And again every time you sweat. It’s like a never ending supply of cocaine for your boys, and boy, do it make you feel and smell better after a long, hot day.

Only trouble is, being what it is, it tends to clog pores. SO once in a while, you get a good solid Scrote zit, and that blows. Nobody wants to know about it, either. Except that we all love to squirt ’em, it’s a moment of satisfaction akin to soaking the afflicted area with super hot water i the shower, and subsequently shooting ball zit pus all over the bathtub. No, not something I’m normally likely to share, but there it is.

Update: On re-reading this I’m struck how much it sounds like a Paul Harvey piece. if Paul Harvey were a crude neanderthal.