Heat and Humidity.
Having spent some time in Dallas monday and tuesday, I am reminded what heat and humidity will do for you, when you’re a big fat bastard.
Now, i sweat. A lot. I figure I have thre to five times as many sweat glands as the next person, based on skin acreage alone, but the worst is the sweaty balzac. I tend to get most moist in the nether regions, and as all big guys will tell you, it’s time for the Gold Bond.
Gold Bond medicated powder is packed with menthol, and when you put it on, no matter how dry you are, it’s a fine burn to the balls. And again every time you sweat. It’s like a never ending supply of cocaine for your boys, and boy, do it make you feel and smell better after a long, hot day.
Only trouble is, being what it is, it tends to clog pores. SO once in a while, you get a good solid Scrote zit, and that blows. Nobody wants to know about it, either. Except that we all love to squirt ’em, it’s a moment of satisfaction akin to soaking the afflicted area with super hot water i the shower, and subsequently shooting ball zit pus all over the bathtub. No, not something I’m normally likely to share, but there it is.
Update: On re-reading this I’m struck how much it sounds like a Paul Harvey piece. if Paul Harvey were a crude neanderthal.
32 comments Og | Uncategorized
I must say how shocked I am by how base and crass this post is.
I must, likewise, also give a nod to its detail and accuracy.
You nailed it, dude.
First.
Sometimes, maybe one doesn’t want to know “the rest of the story”… ;)
I was in Dallas myself Monday and Tuesday. Too bad I didn’t know, we could have hooked up for a drink. As long as the “boys” stayed put.
Number one: it wasn’t even that hot here the two days you were here.
Number two: are you drunk?
It will make you feel better to know that Dick is laughing his sweaty ballsack off right now.
You saw me drink almost as much as I normally drink in a year.
It was hot in the plant where I was working.
Number one, this is by freaking far the manliest and funniest post on the internet today!
Number two, after reading this, Kelly had to go get another drink! Lmao!
By the way, you’re on the blogroll, Divine Miss Kelly.
it’s only funny to you, Dick, because you’ve met me, and you have a mental picture of me squirting ball zit pus naked in the bathtub.
Ok, that does it. I’m officially grossed out for the night. I’m finishing this bottle of wine.
BTW, thanks for the link.
Have you tried baby powder?
You’re grossed out? Damn. I should have posted pictures.
Gold bond IS baby powder, with menthol. Baby powder would have the same pore-clogging properties, without the nad-tingling benefits of the menthol.
Og, I’m going to have nightmares. Thanks
Man, ya nailed that experience. However, the wait for the zit to age properly can be a painful day or three. Nothing quite like the walk you have nursing the not ready to pop zit on the nads.
That menthol burn is great for the asshole that has been rubbed raw by asswipe during a bout of the shits, too.
“Except that we all love to squirt ‘em” — oh my gosh!!… doesn’t it leave scars in that area?
Lordy! Sac pus takes me back to the time when the preacher said washing my balls was a sin.
Man, yall are givin’ away too damn many trade secrets! You know, the whole nad zit thing, the way the get better with age. Mmmm, the pain. Jimmyb got ya. Maybe not wantin’ to know “the rest of the story”, had me rollin’. Wondering now, could there be a female version of this, like big, nasty, sweaty zits under yer tits, or labial zits perhaps?
LOL. Had an x-girlfried who had the landing strip thing going on. Anyway, to keep up, I tried shaving my nut sack. I found out that Gold Bond is God’s gift to man. “That triple action relief”. Thank you Jebus, I haven’t had the zit problem.
Jebus! Between you and GuyK at Charming, Just Charming, we are well into the anatomy lessons this week.
I may just have to do my threatened post on the dreaded Shotgun Ass Syndrome.
[…] Og over at Neanderpundit has the funniest post I’ve ever read. A story about his boys. […]
Damn.
Every time I get sick and tired of blogging – writing posts and keeping up with the ol’ blogroll – a fine piece of writing will come along that restores my faith in humanity.
“Ball Zit Pus” indeed. It’s great to be alive!
Why do you do this to me, Ogger? Seriously. Not that I don’t love a good zit squeezin’, but damn! I just don’t want to think about YOU when I’m doing it.
No offense.
I’m glad I could be of assistance, Broad.
I understand and have the same problem here Og. Whay to bring it to the world’s attention some of the suffering men of our size face on the common hot day. Bravo!
I pretty sure that masturbating two or twelve times a day using Clearasil as a lube would prevent those scrotezits.
Not saying I do this, but my nutsack has a healthy glow…
Try marching a couple miles on a 95 degree day wearing a wool greatkilt.
Gold Bond is the only thing that helps kiltrash…
Ha! I’ll have sympathy for you Og, when you come to Miami for a day or two in July. It gets so humid here your balzac’s sweat sweats.
scrotzits…
Who would have imagined the response?
(insert obscenity)…I’m trying to eat lasagna here! Ohhhh, I don’t feel so good.
Damn! And it wasn’t even that hot here in Dallas on Thursday. Eek.
This site is all about Gold Bond and Nut Powder: http://www.bondyourboys.com
cool
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