So for two years I don’t get a deer and then i am surroudned by them.

On the way to the blogmet, I’m maybe ten, fifteen cars behind a truck, and i see a line of deer run out of the treeline. Several cross, most are turned, but the truck taps one large doe.

it endovers in air and I pull to the side, for a couple reasons, I want to make sure the poor bastard is dead, and because I’m always.. curious.

I am looking at the deer and a cop pulls up, he’s seen me stopped with my flashers and thinks i’m in trouble.
“No, just making sure this deer is dead. It is.”

“yeah. I just saw a truck catch it. Didn’t look like the driver even noticed. I always hate to see the meat get wasted, but this one is pretty buggered up”
it was, the legs were broken and the head beat up pretty bad.

The cop asks “is there anything you can do with him? you want a permit to posess? ”
“no, I don’t have a cooler and I won’t be going home for a while. Besides, there’s enough damage that the backstraps are about all that’s left.”
“Wish I knew how to get them out, I love deer. My brotherinlaw gives me some sometimes. I don’t hunt”

“I can get them out if you want them. Do you have a cooler?”

he did, and I had the white hunter and some rubber gloves in the truck, so I filleted out the backstraps. When I had them I cut off a little piece and ate it.
“yuck, that looks nasty”
“Don’t knock it” I said”unless you try it”
“is it safe?”
“Well, I think deer tend to be a lot safer and cleaner than most farm animals, and this meat isn’t in a body cavity where it could be contaminated by bacteria, so I think it’s safe, but by no means follow my advice, I’ve had intestinal parasites before”
In the end I ate about a three by three chunk of backstrap, and he even sampled a bit “Damn, that’s better than the best rare steak I’ve ever had” and he took the rest home in his cooler.

So that’s how I ended up at the Broad Ripple brewpub smelling of deer blood and ran to the bathroom so I could check to make sure I didn’t have any in my beard, which I did, so I’m glad I got that wiped off first.

by the way, if you ever have a chance to go there, eschew the hot air hand drier, it doesn’t work so well. Prying the lid off with my knife, i discovered that the hot air is actually generated by seventeen small butterflies eating refried beans. Go right for the gas-station-paper towel thingy, you’ll thank me.