Cash for Codgers
With the advent of the new ØCare, and the difficulties people will encounter, I figure, why not?
Have a gall bladder that needs to be removed? Stop on by the local clinic- and bring Aunt Edna with you. Doctors will pound some digitalis down her to destroy her internal organs so there won’t be any liklihood of her coming back around to bug you. And you’ll feel so much better, having had your Gall bladder repaired while subtracting an aging consumer from our medical welfare rolls!
here’s a fee schedule that I think will make some sense.
Heart surgery? Two geezers.
Colonoscopy? one geezer or two dogs.
Boob job? five geezers and a bowl of goldfish. And one abortion.
Liver replacement? One geezer and all his clothes, and a cat.
Yours in comments. Inspired by Pascal.
Inspired, indeed… :)
I’ll turn Richard Lugar in for my first medical need.
[…] Via Tam, Cash for Codgers: Have a gall bladder that needs to be removed? Stop on by the local clinic- and bring Aunt Edna with you. Doctors will pound some digitalis down her to destroy her internal organs so there won’t be any likelihood of her coming back around to bug you. And you’ll feel so much better, having had your Gall bladder repaired while subtracting an aging consumer from our medical welfare rolls! […]
Hello, God. Maybe I shouldn’t ask, but could I send Jimmy Carter back to You to cover my hip replacement?
Since many geezers also own clunkers, perhaps a package deal could be negotiated? One geezer and a ‘72 Plymouth for a boob job and a Prius.
Turk, thats brilliant.
I’ve never been so ashamed to be young and needing medical attention. Seriously.
Jo: you have NO REASON to feel ashamed. If anyone makes yoou feel that, point them out, and i will fuck them up.
[…] And, if available in your area, take advantage of Cash for Codgers. […]
Who qualifies as a codger? I am 63 and still working as a Registered Nurse, full time. How ever, there are several of the physician staff that are younger than I am that I will trade you for a knee replacement in a couple of years.
Joanna, if Og can’t make it down, just let me know and I’ll whup ‘em myself.
Aw, you guys are sweet. You can certainly have what’s left when I get through with ‘em. You know what they say: Friends help you move; real friends help you move bodies.
On a related note: My grandfather, a staunch Republican and extremely smart man, died three weeks before O’s inauguration. I’m beginning to think he timed it that way on purpose.
“Friends help you move; real friends help you move bodies.”
+1 :)
Best friends kill the worthless sonsofbitches for you.
Would bringing in a codger-congress person get you bonus points that you could just keep in a file until you needed them?
Especially a really old dying-codger like a Byrd or Kennedy or Mccain?
I thought it was
Friends will bail you out of jail, best friends will be sitting next to you in the cell and asking “Was that a great weekend or what?”
David: Either/or. There’s a difference between a friend who helps cause trouble and a friend who helps you get out of it.