The most common trouble I got in was Laundry day. I would hear Mom yelling from downstairs, and I would get a lecture about leaving pens, frogs, worms, and snakes in my pockets prior to a wash.

Worms were nasty because they often got out before being boiled and managed to die horribly in someone elses clothing. Snakes were a specific horror to Mom and were always followed by some beating, the intensity of the beating directly realted to the amount of shock Mom got and if the snake was dead.

Worms were usually fishing related. I’d toss a couple in my pocket to go fishing, and oif they weren’t biting, leave them there.

Yesterday I put a couple worms in the pocket and went off in search of the elusive bluegill, and barely caught a thing. The worm in my pocket, on the other hand, turned on my phone and figured out how to use the unit converstion function of my scientific calculator, a skill that has up until now eluded me.

I’ve been outsmarted by a worm. No wonder I can’t catch anything.