Fence charger, part two
Not horribly long after the time of the previous post, Dad loaned the infamous Fence Charger to one of the neighbors to help keep his sorrel mare in the corral, and the neighbor’s kid had zapped himself a time or two touching it. He was the neighborhood bully, and at five years older and a solid fifty pounds heavier, I got my ass kicked by him on a regular basis. His name was Randy. I’m not gonna disguise his name because he was a prick then, and is probably, if he hasn’t overdosed since then, a prick now. John and I were leaning on the edge of the corral watching Randy ride, (god forbid he let Us ride, or anything) and said ‘how does that wussy old electric fence keep that horse in, anyway?’ I was about to slap him and I noticed his hand. Rand couldn’t see it, but where John was pointing, you could see the charger from where we stood, and the pulse was set way out. It went six, seven seconds before it hit. Randy, always ready to make an ass out of himself, said “yeah, well touch it then” SO john did. being more coordinated than me he was able to juuust let go when the light came on. I said “what’s the big deal? John and I used to piss on this thing when it was at my house” Randy, ever the ass, said “Well, let’s see ya do it now, you fucks” So We unzipped, and let the strem cross the wires, as long as the light was off, and we were fine. Apparently Randy didn’t know the deal about the timer. “That don’t mean nothing. THe piss isn’t metal, it ain’t gonna zap you” SO he swings a leg off the horse, straddles one stirrup and the board top rail of the fence, and starts to piss. He stays on for a couple seconds and says ‘See, you turds? this ain’t AAAAAAAAAGHHH!” and keels over backwards, one foot still in the stirrup, while the horse stands still (thankfully)and he starts thrashing around on the ground, stiff teenage cock at attention, still pissing all over himself, hanging by his foot from his horse.
For reasons still unknown to me, but I suspect known to the horse, the horse starts pissing, and the stream hits randy’s thigh and splashes all over him too. John and I run home, laughing so hard we can barely stand it. Randy tries to beat our asses later but to no avail.
Heheheheh… that’s damn funny! A prick and his prick get what they deserve…
Nicely done.
I love comeuppances when there’s style put to the act. I can imagine his proud swagger as he straddled that fence to show you up, then BAM.
The horse knew exactly what she was doing. She didn’t have to go bathroom. She was just joining in the fun and getting her two cents in. Even an animal can tell an asshole a mile away, especially a pet that has to deal with him.
Now I have Ren & Stimpy’s “Don’t whizz on the electric fence” stuck in my head…
Oh, DAMN Og, I needed that laugh REAL bad.
Thanks, buddy.
Had a neighborhood bully on the block when I was growing up. Basic problem was that he liked to hurt kids who were younger and therefore smaller than he was. The problem was amplified by parents who thought they were pronouncing a law of the universe when in response to complaints they said, “My son would not do that.”
It took two acts of self-defense, but eventually he got the idea and left me alone.
First time he chased me inside my own home with the intent of inflicting a beating. I hit him in the gut with a croquet mallet.
Second time I was out with a friend flying a kite. He decided to do a bicycle equivalent of “buzzing” us with the obvious intent of both hitting us and making us let the kite go.
I stuck a stick into the spokes of the front wheel of his bicycle. He did the Superman thing right over the handlebars.
This time his mother called the police.
My parents told the police that if Jerry stopped attacking people, they would stop defending themselves. It was further suggested that since Jerry had been the initiator, that he needed to be arrested, not me.
After that he limited his attacks to the occasional obscenity.
Randy wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, was he?
I love it when a plan comes together.
HAHAHA, I can picture it happening in my head. How did he ever not beat your ass for that?
We laughed at him every time he tried. He got so flustered that he couldn’t see well enough to kick our asses.