The real and the surreal
Dreampt last night of being molested by a recently incarcerated Geena Davis. Always been a fan of Ms Davis, so the idea of being her first episode after a long dry spell was most enjoyable. At one point we were on a small sailboat, and the …. activity was such that the water around the boat looked like a giant denture cleaner, and a japanese consortium hired us to go around the world using our special talents to clean reefs contaminated by oil spills.
On waking and taking the dog out for his morning pee, I witnessed a biker gang composed of achondroplastic dwarves.
If I was going to have two freaky unlikely things in one morning, and one was going to be true, I’d rather have had the Geena Davis one.
Well, other than an achondroplastic dwarf, who wouldn’t?
Look at it this way. If your day starts out THAT surreal in reality, then maybe Ms. Davis will show up at your door. Either that or you’re stuck in a David Lynch movie and you don’t know it.
If someone comes up and starts talking backwards (unless it’s Ms. Davis) just hit yourself in the head (or better yet, your much abused toe) with a log until you wake up.
achondroplastic? Dude. You’re a learning experience, no doubt about it.
I dreamed about Geena one time. Not long after watching the scene in “Thelma and Louise” when she succumbs to Brad Pitt’s charms. That slow camera pan up and over the panty covered mons. In the dream I had replaced Brad Pitt and was warming up quickly when I got a sharp elbow in the ribs from the woman next to me. My wife testily exclaimed, “What the hell are you doing? It’s 2:00 in the morning.” My deft fingertips were unceremoniously slapped away and Geena slipped away in the fog of consciousness. Over breakfast I told her what I had been dreaming about and we got a good laugh. Fast forward some years later and my lovely wife and I are settling in on the couch to watch “Cutthroat Island” with a big bowl of popcorn. She suddenly suddenly grabs the remote and turns the tv off. I say, WTF, she says, “Oh no, I need my sleep tonight and I remember what happened the last time you watched a Geena Davis flick.” Much LOLing ensued.
The only wet-dream I’ve ever had was when I was in my mid-forties. I was hammering this hot babe when I suddenly woke up in a pool of baby batter. I jumped up, turned on the light and the lintwife and I were both staring at the glistening goop. We were both shocked….but for different reasons. I looked at her and said, “What kind of sick fucker has the one and only wet-dream of his ENTIRE life while dreaming of hammering his wife…..the woman he’s been hammering for twenty five years?!?!?”
She just smiled, turned over and went back to sleep.
And I lay there the rest of the night wondering WTF was wrong with me.
Og, it’s not a problem: if Davis shows up and makes the offer, the Ogwife will kill one or both of you.
Could be. Davis is my gimme. Sam Elliot is hers. The liklihood of Elliot showing up is greater than Davis.
Geena has always made my pants fly around the room.
Always…
I see the lintwife ain’t the only female what has the hots for Sam Elliot.