{"id":1028,"date":"2006-09-21T20:58:40","date_gmt":"2006-09-22T01:58:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/69.50.194.231\/~vqplgdbg\/?p=1028"},"modified":"2006-09-21T20:58:40","modified_gmt":"2006-09-22T01:58:40","slug":"tying-up-loose-ends-crapblogging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=1028","title":{"rendered":"Tying up loose ends crapblogging"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Long before I became immersed in IMTS I visited my MD. She wrote for some bloodwork, me being overdue, and I went in to get the blod drawn. As i left, they hand me this big bag. &#8220;Oh, cool! Consolation prize!&#8221; I think, but no, inside were three handy dandy buckets and some odd looking frame things. <\/p>\n<p>The purpose of this, the receptionist informs me, are to collect stool specimens. <\/p>\n<p>When they put the &#8220;biohazard&#8221; emblem on the oputside of the bag, they could never have imagined the horror. <\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, I do not have to fill the buckets and return them, as that would bring me unadulterated glee; no, I must merely daub samples from different turds, and spread them on the enclosed card. Twice per day, for three days. <\/p>\n<p>Now, I have two meals that I know are perfect for this task, the first being pickled hardboiled eggs with warm Leinenkugel&#8217;s bock beer, and the second being Gyros &amp; Guinness, with a side of onion rings. These combinations, even in microscopic quantities, are adequate to cause retching among even the most stouthearted. Any suggestions for the third? Remember, we&#8217;re talking aroma here, not consistency.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Long before I became immersed in IMTS I visited my MD. She wrote for some bloodwork, me being overdue, and I went in to get the blod drawn. As i left, they hand me this big bag. &#8220;Oh, cool! Consolation prize!&#8221; I think, but no, inside were three handy dandy buckets and some odd looking [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1028"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1028"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1028\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}