{"id":1461,"date":"2007-04-25T07:50:20","date_gmt":"2007-04-25T12:50:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=1461"},"modified":"2007-04-25T07:50:20","modified_gmt":"2007-04-25T12:50:20","slug":"half-a-dozen-new-orifices-and-a-reclaimed-old-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=1461","title":{"rendered":"Half a dozen new orifices and a reclaimed old one"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have five big pieces of tape on my belly, and a wad of crap on my hand where they poked in a tube that must have been as big as a nail.  The new orfi seem to be healing nicely, though I&#8217;m no judge. And the pain is not sharp or bad just a dull ache like I&#8217;ve been Buford Pussered to the gut. <\/p>\n<p>A while ago, contemplating my navel, I discovered  it sealed with some substance, which turned out to be a remnant of the adhesive they use to glue that damned sterile visqueen to you. Then it dawns on me: I&#8217;m bald from chest to crotch. This is gonna itch like a bitch. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have five big pieces of tape on my belly, and a wad of crap on my hand where they poked in a tube that must have been as big as a nail. The new orfi seem to be healing nicely, though I&#8217;m no judge. And the pain is not sharp or bad just a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1461","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1461"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1461"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1461\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1461"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1461"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1461"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}