And the livin is… greasy. <\/p>\n
I have gone into full blown Gold Bond mode, because the weather is muggy and often quite hot. Not normal Indiana Summer hot, mind, you, but hot nonetheless. <\/p>\n
So I bond my boys regularly, but time was I had no idea nor knowledge of the soothing power of the Powdered Joy known as Gold Bond. <\/p>\n
SO In the summertime I would do what men have done to keep their boys dry for thousands of years. I used cornstarch. <\/p>\n
In the first year after my divorce from the Ice Princess, I was working for a small company downtown Chicago, and it was miserable in the summer. <\/p>\n
Dad had died two years before, and I was living wiht mom. I would come how from work, beat like a rented mule, and strip down to my shorts, lay in the backyard on the picnic table and nap. <\/p>\n
You learned to sleep in that position in the steel mills- you lay on a bench, and put one arm and one leg up on the table.<\/p>\n
My dog, Lady, a beagle\/terrier mix, and Dad’s dog Pebbles, would lay on the ground under the picnic table and we’d nap togehter. <\/p>\n
Sometimes, though.. <\/p>\n
The cornstarch I used to keep my freakishly large scrotum from chafing would often ball up and form little wads of… well, cornstarch dough. And the virulent yeast infections I often had from watery bints laying about in ponds….. well, the dough would actualy rise.<\/p>\n
This in itself was disgusting enough, but….<\/p>\n
Occasionally, stripped down to my boxers, one of the dogs would nuzzle up my shorts leg and start licking away at this…. crotch bread, for lack of a better word. <\/p>\n
So once or twice a month, that summer, I’d wake up, laying on the picnic table, boxers splayed, nutsack hanging out, dog licking it…..<\/p>\n
Just not a pretty sight, people. <\/p>\n
This IS why you come here, right? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
And the livin is… greasy. I have gone into full blown Gold Bond mode, because the weather is muggy and often quite hot. Not normal Indiana Summer hot, mind, you, but hot nonetheless. So I bond my boys regularly, but time was I had no idea nor knowledge of the soothing power of the Powdered […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1620","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1620"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1620"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1620\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}