{"id":1781,"date":"2007-09-29T19:01:45","date_gmt":"2007-09-30T00:01:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=1781"},"modified":"2007-09-29T19:01:45","modified_gmt":"2007-09-30T00:01:45","slug":"grand-theft-battery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=1781","title":{"rendered":"Grand Theft Battery"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Huh?<\/p>\n<p>I was in Cicero this morning. Down cicero avenue, in fact, and at the intersection of cicero and 19th, there&#8217;s an Autozone. As I arrive, a man comes running out of AZone with two batteries- and two Azone associates trailing not far behind. <\/p>\n<p>Apparently the would-be thief miscalculated his attainable speed whilst carrying a pair of batteries, and the Azone associates overtook him quickly. THey proceeded to regain their batteries and lay a beatdown on the would-be thief. <\/p>\n<p>What a great way to start the day. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Huh? I was in Cicero this morning. Down cicero avenue, in fact, and at the intersection of cicero and 19th, there&#8217;s an Autozone. As I arrive, a man comes running out of AZone with two batteries- and two Azone associates trailing not far behind. Apparently the would-be thief miscalculated his attainable speed whilst carrying a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1781","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1781"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1781"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1781\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1781"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1781"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1781"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}