{"id":1807,"date":"2007-10-07T21:40:18","date_gmt":"2007-10-08T02:40:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=1807"},"modified":"2007-10-08T06:46:42","modified_gmt":"2007-10-08T11:46:42","slug":"so-im-standing-in-the-field","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=1807","title":{"rendered":"So I&#8217;m standing in the field"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>over a largish deer. Well, not large in the conventional sense, just&#8230; well,  fat.  Kinda scrawny horns. I look up, and there&#8217;s another buck, this one a bit healthier looking, staring straight at me.<\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;You, er, you gonna be using that can of spray?&#8221; <\/em>the buck says, a hoof pointing at the can of Deepwoods Off in my fanny pack. <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Erm,&#8230;.. no? &#8221;<br \/>\n<em>&#8220;Would you mind spraying some across my face? Yeah, just there. I&#8217;ll close my eyes, ok?&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\n&#8220;Um, sure&#8221; I spray the deer&#8217;s face, he snorts a little then says <em>&#8220;the ears too, please&#8221;<\/em> I hit the ears and he turns around.<br \/>\n<em><br \/>\n&#8220;A little around the family jewels, if you don&#8217;t mind, and yeah, up there, yep. Thanks&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\n&#8220;No&#8230; er, no problem&#8221; I stammer. &#8220;I hope there&#8217;s no hard feelings- I mean, I shot your friend&#8221;<br \/>\n<em>&#8220;yeah, about that. He wasn&#8217;t hardly anyone&#8217;s friend, really. He was always talking about how good he was, how much smarter, how he could figure anything out. He walked out in the zone after I pointed you out. he was like, all <strong>&#8220;That guy&#8217;s from Indiana. he probably moves his lips when he reads&#8221;. <\/strong>SO not a big deal. &#8220;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Okay, thanks. You want the rest of the can?&#8221;<br \/>\n<em>&#8220;I would, but no pockets, you know?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I could just leave it here. You could have someone push down on the top&#8221;<br \/>\n<em>&#8220;That would be great. And hey, thanks. And while I&#8217;m thinking about it, stay away from that liver, he abused it a lot&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;cool. Um, couild I ask you a question?&#8221;<br \/>\n<em>&#8220;SUre&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\n&#8220;When is the rut? What actually controls it?&#8221;<br \/>\n<em>&#8220;Skeeters and deer ticks.&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\n&#8220;What?&#8221;<br \/>\n<em>&#8220;We have only a few areas where we&#8217;re vulnerable to mosquitoes and ticks, and you can guess where they are. Can you think of sex while mosquitoes are biting your nose, eyes, and balls?&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\n&#8220;I guess not. Thanks. You know I&#8217;m gonna be looking for you in two weeks, during firearm season&#8221;<br \/>\n<em>&#8220;Yeah. But I&#8217;ll get some fucking in before then&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Seeya!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And then the alarm clock got to me, and I had to hit the road.<br \/>\nMan, I gotta lay off the chili cheese dogs.<\/p>\n<p>172 permits issued yesterday at Kingsbury, one deer taken. In the old classic indiana method:with a pickup truck. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>over a largish deer. Well, not large in the conventional sense, just&#8230; well, fat. Kinda scrawny horns. I look up, and there&#8217;s another buck, this one a bit healthier looking, staring straight at me. &#8220;You, er, you gonna be using that can of spray?&#8221; the buck says, a hoof pointing at the can of Deepwoods [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1807","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1807"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1807"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1807\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1807"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1807"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1807"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}