{"id":1980,"date":"2007-12-31T22:19:37","date_gmt":"2008-01-01T03:19:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=1980"},"modified":"2012-03-18T06:53:57","modified_gmt":"2012-03-18T11:53:57","slug":"just-for-elisson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=1980","title":{"rendered":"Just for Elisson"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>and because it&#8217;s probably never been done before<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I often write of work and food and cars<br \/>\nI have reviewed a book or movie too<br \/>\nI never spend lost weekends out at bars<br \/>\nI get my kicks from telling tales of poo<\/p>\n<p>I sat upon my throne awaiting shit<br \/>\nthe dog had joined me just to watch the fun<br \/>\nthe smell, when it arrived, gave him a fit<br \/>\nand soon enough the dog was on the run<\/p>\n<p>The wallpaper began to peel on top<br \/>\nthe jelly  in my eyes began to melt<br \/>\nI strained but found it didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem to stop<br \/>\nit wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fair, I thought, and then I felt<\/p>\n<p>A giant turd begin to breach the rent<br \/>\nI squoze until it plopped into the bowl<br \/>\nthe gas behind it soon began to vent<br \/>\nmy sinuses would ne\u00e2\u20ac\u2122er again be whole<\/p>\n<p>I flushed before I stood just to arrest<br \/>\nthe gas from swirling all around the room<br \/>\nI wondered why some others thought it best<br \/>\nto fabricate these tales of doody doom<\/p>\n<p>I write about mine own brown tales of woe<br \/>\nNo sense in robbing Paul to pay the Peter<br \/>\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll do that which has ne\u00e2\u20ac\u2122er been done befo\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<br \/>\nand crapblog in iambic pentameter<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>and because it&#8217;s probably never been done before I often write of work and food and cars I have reviewed a book or movie too I never spend lost weekends out at bars I get my kicks from telling tales of poo I sat upon my throne awaiting shit the dog had joined me just [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1980","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1980"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1980"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1980\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1980"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1980"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1980"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}