{"id":2012,"date":"2008-01-13T23:36:19","date_gmt":"2008-01-14T04:36:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=2012"},"modified":"2008-01-13T23:37:02","modified_gmt":"2008-01-14T04:37:02","slug":"so-i-know-this-guy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=2012","title":{"rendered":"So I know this guy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Who is definitely not me. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>And he had this girlfriend. <\/p>\n<p>She was kind of a hotblooded girl, and i- I mean, this guy I know- catered to her every.. er, unusual interests. <\/p>\n<p>One such interest was in toys. The kinds of toys they sell in those stores that sell&#8230;.. adult toys. <\/p>\n<p>She was embarrassed to go to them, so I bought her things she requested. One of the things she requested was a large, two-headed (so to speak) object. About as big around as a vacuum cleaner hose, and a foot and a half long. <\/p>\n<p>And one day, she misplaced it. <\/p>\n<p>We never thought much more of it. Until one day, while eating dinner, the family&#8217;s wirehaired terrier came romping into the dining room with it clenched between it&#8217;s teeth, wagging it&#8217;s tail at it&#8217;s cleverness. <\/p>\n<p>We- I mean, her and this guy I knew- were mortified. <\/p>\n<p>Ad there followed a pregnant pause of biblical proportions. <\/p>\n<p>Until her father let me- I mean, the guy I know- off the hook by saying &#8220;That&#8217;s not even HALF the size of your mom&#8217;s&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Her mom, as it was, turned red and kicked him firmly under the table. <\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I- or, I would imagine- my friend, thinks of this every time i- I mean he- sees this commercial. <\/p>\n<p><object width=\"425\" height=\"355\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/1UoR3jwgpU8&#038;rel=1\"><\/param><param name=\"wmode\" value=\"transparent\"><\/param><embed src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/1UoR3jwgpU8&#038;rel=1\" type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" wmode=\"transparent\" width=\"425\" height=\"355\"><\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Who is definitely not me. And he had this girlfriend. She was kind of a hotblooded girl, and i- I mean, this guy I know- catered to her every.. er, unusual interests. One such interest was in toys. The kinds of toys they sell in those stores that sell&#8230;.. adult toys. She was embarrassed to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2012"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2012"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2012\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}