{"id":208,"date":"2004-12-17T23:25:37","date_gmt":"2004-12-18T04:25:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/69.50.194.231\/~vqplgdbg\/?p=208"},"modified":"2004-12-17T23:25:37","modified_gmt":"2004-12-18T04:25:37","slug":"self-imposed-injury","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=208","title":{"rendered":"Self imposed injury"},"content":{"rendered":"

in part because I’m watching Jackass, and in part because of this post by Vman<\/a> I find myself reminiscing about the many times I’ve done myself harm. <\/p>\n

In 02, the third week of August, I woke Sunday morning to a day of lawnmowing in prep for a birthday party that afternoon.<\/p>\n

My nephiew’s birthday, to be exact, my godson. I have a large flagpole In the front yard, and it sits in a pipe sunken in the dirt; when I mow, I merely unship the flagpole for the duration of the mow and rest it against the house.
\n
\nWhen I’m done mowing, I go into the house and shower in prep for the afternoon festivities. I help the wife lay out the food, then walk out the front door. I notice that the flagpole is still resting against the house. <\/p>\n

The next series of events happens in less than two seconds<\/p>\n

I grab said flagpole in one hand, and at that exact moment, the phone on my hip rings; I grab the phone and answer it; the flagpole begins to overbalance and I juggle it a bit trying to bring it back level, and the end of it knocks loose a retaining wall stone. I use the toe of my left foot to slide the block back into position, and i slip sideways for a moment; I am looking straight down, and standing straight up. I can see the entire sole of my right foot. I realize I am standing on my ankle. I drop the phone, the flagpole, and pitch forward onto the freshly mowed grass. According to the wife, I screamed like a girl.<\/p>\n

I raise myself onto my elbows, and wrench my foot back so the sole of my foot is once again pointing in a downward direction, and hobble back to the task at hand; I insert the flagpole in it’s socket and go back into the house. <\/p>\n

I spend the rest of the day hobbling around, and by nine that night, my foot is so large I doubt I’ll be able to bring it back into the house with me. Shy of firing up the chainsaw, I’m probably gonna need some medical attention.<\/p>\n

By the end of the 6 hour emergency room visit, I’m assured i’ve not broken anything, and sent home with an air cast and pain meds. The pain meds are still int he cupboard, but the doctor calls thenext day to say “oh, we missed a couple of hairline fractures to several of the bones of your foot”. Several? You MISSED? Since they will only give me another cast, I decide to tell them to go fuck themselves and spend the next several months in an air cast. Hey, at least i can take the damned thing off to shower. <\/p>\n

I have always been dangerous to myself, and I dont even need the assistance of my child. <\/p>\n

What time is that bonfire, Vman?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

in part because I’m watching Jackass, and in part because of this post by Vman I find myself reminiscing about the many times I’ve done myself harm. In 02, the third week of August, I woke Sunday morning to a day of lawnmowing in prep for a birthday party that afternoon. My nephiew’s birthday, to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=208"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}