{"id":2346,"date":"2008-06-16T21:26:16","date_gmt":"2008-06-17T02:26:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=2346"},"modified":"2008-06-16T21:26:16","modified_gmt":"2008-06-17T02:26:16","slug":"dick-and-the-insurance-lady","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=2346","title":{"rendered":"Dick and the Insurance lady"},"content":{"rendered":"

See bitch weasel. See Dick snap. Run, bitch, run!<\/em><\/p>\n

Verbatim from Dick’s email to me tonight:
\nFirst thing that evil fucking bitch from Nationwide said to me was, “if your wife wouldn’t have hit our client, we wouldn’t have to do this.”
\nA second earlier I was in a pleasant conversation about the value of Kelly’s ’07 Eclipse. Yeah, the bitch pushed the wrong button.
\n“Excuse me?” I asked, not quite believing what I heard.
\n“Well,” she said, as if she wanted to test me, “your wife hit our client, which is what caused this mess to begin with.”
\nMount Saint Helens had nothing on me. I fucking exploded.
\n“Excuse the fuck out’ve me? Did somebody fuck up and claim this was my wife’s fault, or did Nationwide get into the business of paying just for the fucking fun of it? Get me your boss on the phone. You’re a God damn idiot.”
\nMr. Dick, you really don’t have to use that kind of language,” she retorted.
\nHer name is Crystal, if that matters. And yeah, her ass is gonna be famous if she keeps this shit up.
\n“Now, what about the car. KBB (Kelly Blue Book) lists it at $19,400.00. You guys stroke her a check for that, plus T.T&L, plus dealer’s fees, plus and an additional $360.00 for the tint, six CDs still stuck in the changer, and the window tint, and we’ll call it good.”<\/p>\n

“We don’t pay like that, Mr. Dick.”
\n“Oh yeah, how do you pay? What is your standard?” I asked.
\n“Fair market value, of course.”
\n“Whose fair market value?
\n“CCC’s,” she replied.
\n“Who are they?”
\n“That’s who we use to ascertain the value of used cars. Tell me about what was wrong with your wife’s car.”
\n“What? Nothing… It was a perfect car.”
\n“Oh, come on… All owners say that about their cars. What was it really like?” She almost mocked me.
\n“You and me are gonna have a long week, sweetie.” I let her know. I wasn’t kidding.
\n“Hey, tell me about the bonus system there?” I asked.
\n“What, I don’t understand.”
\n“You know… For every dollar you fuck the victim out of, you get a bonus of some sort.”
\n“Mr. Dick, that’s rude to even begin to insinuate! We don’t do that!”
\n“You’re full of shit, ma’am, now let’s talk about money.”
\n“Okay, but let’s go over the car first, shall we? Your car had 13,752 miles miles on it.”
\n“Really, how’d you figured that?” I was wondering where the extra 2700 miles came from.
\n“We flashed it.”
\n“Ma’am, either your people are idiots, or liars. What are ya gonna go with?”
\n“Excuse me?”
\n“The car had 11,000 miles on it.”
\n“Can you prove that?”
\n“Yep. Where do you want me to fax the service receipt from last Saturday?”<\/p>\n

The ignorant bitch gave me a fax number and told me we’d continue in the morning. I’m gonna eat this bitch and her boss for fucking breakfast.
\nFuck you Nationwide. Pay up.<\/p>\n

Dick<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

See bitch weasel. See Dick snap. Run, bitch, run! Verbatim from Dick’s email to me tonight: First thing that evil fucking bitch from Nationwide said to me was, “if your wife wouldn’t have hit our client, we wouldn’t have to do this.” A second earlier I was in a pleasant conversation about the value of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2346"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2346"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2346\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2346"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2346"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2346"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}