I love a good steak, and when I get my hands on one that is rare enough (and I do like them rare) they tend to go through me like so much soup- so I have learned to avoid them while in situations…. well, like these. <\/p>\n
I was dating a girl from Schaumburg some years ago, and it was our habit to see a movie or have a nice dinner and go to one of the many local industrial parks for a little privacy (nopbody in those places after dark) and settle in on landscaped lawns and play hide the salami.<\/p>\n
On one such occasion, we’d just had Prime Rib at her parents home, and were basking in the afterglow, when the Urge Arrived. We were close to a large-ish retention pond, so not wanting to damage it’s ecosystem any more than necesary, I grabbed some paper towel and trundled off to a handily mulched evergreen. I dropped trou and squatted (in those days I still had knees) and proceeded to open the fire hose of unadulterated vile. I didn’t think it was going to stop, as a matter of fact, and by the time it DID stop there was a thin moat of pure nasty around the base of the little spruce.<\/p>\n
I cleaned as best I could (paper towel makes poor asswipe for a variety of reasons) and returned to my date. For reasons I still don’t understand, this interlude did NOT put her off, and in fact she participated with renewed vigour what my call of nature had interrupted. <\/p>\n
I’ll never understand wimmen. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I love a good steak, and when I get my hands on one that is rare enough (and I do like them rare) they tend to go through me like so much soup- so I have learned to avoid them while in situations…. well, like these. I was dating a girl from Schaumburg some years […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2362"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2362"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2362\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2362"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2362"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2362"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}