{"id":2469,"date":"2008-08-13T12:52:37","date_gmt":"2008-08-13T17:52:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=2469"},"modified":"2008-08-13T12:53:21","modified_gmt":"2008-08-13T17:53:21","slug":"turd-wreaks-havoc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=2469","title":{"rendered":"Turd Wreaks Havoc"},"content":{"rendered":"

There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s<\/span> a headline you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t see every day.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not proud to admit that in my Snot-Nose Days, I created my share of havoc-wreaking turds. Whether it was my low-fiber diet, the specific configuration of my fundament, or a Perfect Storm-like combination of the above, I was a Past Master at dropping enormous loaves that would necessitate the use of our trusty Plumber\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Helper. I am, of course, pleased to report that this is no longer a routine concern…but it did create its share of excitement back in the day.<\/p>\n

Newsworthy, though? Not really.<\/p>\n

Yet \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Turd Wreaks Havoc\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is not only a real headline, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an abbreviated one. The full version, as ripped from today\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Inter-Webby Net, reads \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Giant Inflatable Turd Escapes, Wreaks Havoc.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sure there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an entire legion of headline editors that will go out tonight and get drunk, so giddy are they at having the opportunity to write a headline like that…for a real news story<\/a>.<\/p>\n

A powerful gust of wind recently swept a house-sized sculpture of dog feces from its display outside a Swiss museum, an art official in Berne said Monday…<\/p>\n

The massive inflatable sculpture, created by U.S. contemporary artist Paul McCarthy and titled Complex Shit, is part of the Paul Klee Centre\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s exhibit East of Eden: A Garden Show<\/span>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Heh. You never know what you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll find in your garden, eh?<\/p>\n

According to the article, the house-sized turd-balloon broke the window of an orphanage before being falling to the ground. (I had had a mental image of the Fearsome Floating Feces being wrestled to earth by a team of butt-<\/strike>crack Turd-Wranglers, but no such luck.) One can only wonder at the psychological damage those orphans suffered, gaping slack-jawed and pants-pissing terrified as they watched the enormous Doom-Dung\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s silent but deadly approach…<\/p>\n

One can also wonder at what the Art World is coming to. Imagine…a house-sized Bogus Turd as a museum piece. Did it come with a stadium-sized punchbowl? Now, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s<\/span> something I would\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve paid to see.<\/p>\n

Turd in a punchbowl
\nAll chunky and brown;
\nTurd in a punchbowl
\nAs big as a town!<\/span><\/p>\n

[Thanks to El Crapitan<\/strike> El Capitan<\/a> for finding this heart-warming little story<\/a>. Cross-posted at Blog d\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Elisson<\/a>.]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a headline you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t see every day. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not proud to admit that in my Snot-Nose Days, I created my share of havoc-wreaking turds. Whether it was my low-fiber diet, the specific configuration of my fundament, or a Perfect Storm-like combination of the above, I was a Past Master at dropping enormous loaves that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2469"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2469"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2469\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}