{"id":3025,"date":"2009-02-10T12:27:42","date_gmt":"2009-02-10T17:27:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=3025"},"modified":"2009-02-10T12:27:42","modified_gmt":"2009-02-10T17:27:42","slug":"porn-sex-cheetos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=3025","title":{"rendered":"Porn, Sex &amp; Cheetos"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I love a good porn flick just as much as the Priest and Rabbi sitting next to me, but I have a couple of issues with most of the crap being pumped out today.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. <\/strong>Guys, don&#8217;t try hammer the chick like an out of control jackhammer, unless she asks you to do so.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. <\/strong>Most chicks aren&#8217;t screamers, but on the other hand, a few still are.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3.<\/strong> Is anybody here a fan of anal sex? Occasionally is okay, but try not to make it a habit. Look, the sphincter is a muscle. Muscles can be trained, so to speak. If you end up having to wear Depends by the age of forty, don&#8217;t say I didn&#8217;t warn ya.<\/p>\n<p>Yes Virginia, your asshole has just fallen out.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4.<\/strong> I am not a fan of inflated boobs. If you have em and I just offended you. Feel free to get even by not sleeping with me. Nothing is better that the natural curves of a beautiful woman, skinny or not so.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. <\/strong>This thing about chicks injecting collagen, or maybe Crisco, what the fuck ever&#8230;, into their lips? That&#8217;s wrong in damn near every way imaginable. Stop it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>6.<\/strong> The guys who have that muscle above their penis cut, so it seems longer? Please, kill yourselves. That kind of shit is pitiful.<\/p>\n<p><strong>7.<\/strong> Guys, mow the lawn. You expect your woman to do it, so handle up on your own yard.<\/p>\n<p><strong>8.<\/strong> Would somebody please teach the porno sound engineer the fairly common art of dubbing?<\/p>\n<p><strong>9.<\/strong> Please don&#8217;t watch a cheesy ass porn flick and use it as your guide to eating pussy.<\/p>\n<p><strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s it. I just felt like tossing out an opinion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I love a good porn flick just as much as the Priest and Rabbi sitting next to me, but I have a couple of issues with most of the crap being pumped out today. 1. Guys, don&#8217;t try hammer the chick like an out of control jackhammer, unless she asks you to do so. 2. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3025","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3025"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3025"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3025\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3025"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3025"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3025"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}