message. <\/a><\/p>\nThere’s a one-holer close to where I’m working, but one of my co-workers has just gone in and locked the door behind him. I’m cranking the crossfeed at an even pace, trying not to let it chatter, and I wonder if the regular crapper is occupied. I have an inch and a half to go, I’m taking a .030 pass, 1″ wide. Can’t let it chatter, this is a mounting surface. Butt cheeks starting to clench. An inch to go. A few more seconds, please. I’m kegeling so hard my nutsack has turned inside out. A half inch. I have a turtle head sticking out. And it’s not as solid as I would prefer, as I had cornflakes for breakfast. Almost through, I crank the handle a wee bit faster until the cutterhead clears the workplace and I flip off the switch in a fluid motion and do the walk to the main crapper, silently cursing my co-worker for being in the close one. <\/p>\n
I manage to get to the door praying that at least one stall is empty and they both are, the moment the door clears I start taking loose my belt and my pants are around my ankles as i stagger into the stall, and my drawers barely clear porcelean as i sat down. <\/p>\n
I managed to avoid dunking the boys. I managed to avoid sitting in the stall without paper. I managed to entirely fill the bowl with the most putrid crap imaginable, with the consistency of oatmeal with toads floating in it. <\/p>\n
And then one of the Big Guys walks in. <\/p>\n
See, we’ve been purchased by a Big Company. Well, heavily invested in, anyway. And the Big Company has one of their minions in our facility at all times. He’s a tall Oriental man with impeccable taste and a snappy dresser. And he walked into an oggian cloud that may or may not be responsible for gloebull warmening AND acid rain. Hell, I could barely stand the smell. And the ventilation system in the mens room is an asthmatic blowing through a paper drinking straw. Our Overlord retched, and quickly left. I think he will probably use the bathroom at his apartment for a long time. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Spent all day monday in front of a knee mill, and my feet and back are mute witness. Stopped around noon to get a bite, and went back to the mill. Halfway into a cut I got the message. There’s a one-holer close to where I’m working, but one of my co-workers has just gone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3119","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3119"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3119\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}