Now, I have the worlds dumbest dog. Well, one of the worlds dumbest dogs. <\/p>\n
Patches’ favorite game is “get the ball”. After she finishes eating, she throws a tennis ball up onto the bench, and you throw it.<\/p>\n
Sometimes she gets it, sometimes she looks at your arm after you throw it. Sometimes, after a few catches, she realizes that she’s just eaten, and goes to grab the ball only to realize she has to crap.
\nShe then wanders around sniffing to find that perfect spot, and then gradually moves into full border-collie crouch. Then, remembering that she still has the ball in her mouth, she drops the ball, then re-crouches, almost invariably, shitting on the ball. <\/p>\n
Then she comes back to you, and looks at you as if you stole the ball. <\/p>\n
Often, after a few gentle hints, she’ll run back out and sniff around for the ball, neglecting to discover the STEAMING FRESH PILE OF DOG CRAP immediately surrounding the ball.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, if you’re lucky, she’ll bring the ball back to you with a couple chunks of fresh crap, and toss it up at you on the parkbench, looking at you as if to say, “what’s you’re problem, pussy? I had it in my mouth! throw the damned ball!!!!”<\/p>\n
Then, in the morning, as the wife has her first butt of the day, the dog runs out and finds that last night’s pile, and, ick, eats it. <\/p>\n
Anyone want a four\/five year old Border Collie? Cleans up after self. <\/p>\n
sheesh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Now, I have the worlds dumbest dog. Well, one of the worlds dumbest dogs. Patches’ favorite game is “get the ball”. After she finishes eating, she throws a tennis ball up onto the bench, and you throw it. Sometimes she gets it, sometimes she looks at your arm after you throw it. Sometimes, after a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=327"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}