{"id":3286,"date":"2009-10-15T21:52:20","date_gmt":"2009-10-16T02:52:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=3286"},"modified":"2009-10-15T21:52:20","modified_gmt":"2009-10-16T02:52:20","slug":"where-in-gods-name-did-my-ass-go","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=3286","title":{"rendered":"Where in God&#8217;s name did my ass go?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have all my life had a massive and muscular ass. The Buttcheeks of Doom were capable of cracking a walnut, up until rather recently, in fact. I won&#8217;t try it now, because I don&#8217;t think I want to know. <\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t get a belt tight enough to keep my pants up on my ass. My ass is still there, dammit, it just doesn&#8217;t seem like it&#8230; projects. <\/p>\n<p>Shit. Between this and the back hair and the invitation to join AARP, I&#8217;m starting to be less than amused. <\/p>\n<p>Requiem for my lamented buttocks, by Richard Cheese. <\/p>\n<p><object width=\"425\" height=\"344\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/e01C3AqzjlE&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1&#038;\"><\/param><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\"><\/param><param name=\"allowscriptaccess\" value=\"always\"><\/param><embed src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/e01C3AqzjlE&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1&#038;\" type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" allowscriptaccess=\"always\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" width=\"425\" height=\"344\"><\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have all my life had a massive and muscular ass. The Buttcheeks of Doom were capable of cracking a walnut, up until rather recently, in fact. I won&#8217;t try it now, because I don&#8217;t think I want to know. I can&#8217;t get a belt tight enough to keep my pants up on my ass. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3286","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3286"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3286"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3286\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3286"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3286"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3286"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}