{"id":357,"date":"2005-05-08T22:52:19","date_gmt":"2005-05-09T03:52:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/69.50.194.231\/~vqplgdbg\/?p=357"},"modified":"2005-05-08T22:52:19","modified_gmt":"2005-05-09T03:52:19","slug":"vogon-poetry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=357","title":{"rendered":"Vogon poetry"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Ode to a remarkably large lump and several smaller flakes of crusty dried blood I dug out of my ear last night.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Oh, as I worked in factory clouded<br \/>\nwith spoiled and rancid coolant<br \/>\nthe greenish slime<br \/>\ndeposited itself on my every surface<br \/>\nmy clothes reeking and nasty<br \/>\nmy skin purulent and pasty<br \/>\nI swabbed at my ear canal with gusto<br \/>\nremoving slime and froth<br \/>\nand at one point, painfully piercing eardrum<br \/>\nwithout my knowing.<br \/>\nOn the plane, the lowered pressure<br \/>\nrenews the bleeding,<br \/>\ndrips from my ear onto my black shirt<br \/>\nand frightens the gay flight attendant<br \/>\nI swab ever so delicately, trying not<br \/>\nto renew the wound, but the canal has a roadblock,<br \/>\nan obstacle to the progress of the Q<br \/>\nSix weeks I play host to the clump<br \/>\ngently nudging from time to time<br \/>\nwhen at last the sweat and time and loosened epithelium<br \/>\ncause the lump to break free and rattle about, and<br \/>\nthe careful intervention<br \/>\nof a bobby pin<br \/>\nand the lump is free<br \/>\na chunk of blood so dessicate<br \/>\nit is more black than red, and shaped like a tiny burrito<br \/>\nI called it Herb, and I may wear it on a chain around my neck<br \/>\nor simply keep it in a glass vial with my change and tie-tacs,<br \/>\nsee if I don&#8217;t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ode to a remarkably large lump and several smaller flakes of crusty dried blood I dug out of my ear last night. Oh, as I worked in factory clouded with spoiled and rancid coolant the greenish slime deposited itself on my every surface my clothes reeking and nasty my skin purulent and pasty I swabbed [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=357"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=357"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=357"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=357"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}