{"id":3900,"date":"2010-09-29T05:00:51","date_gmt":"2010-09-29T10:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=3900"},"modified":"2010-09-29T05:00:51","modified_gmt":"2010-09-29T10:00:51","slug":"and-i-thought-i-could-crapblog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=3900","title":{"rendered":"And I thought I could crapblog"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I got nothing on <a href=\"http:\/\/atomic-fungus.livejournal.com\/593342.html\">this dude. <\/a><\/p>\n<p>Money quote: <\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\n&#8220;Like a 43-year-old man with diverticulosis and IBS needs colon detox. Jesus. If I want my colon to be detoxed, all I need to do is wait and it&#8217;ll detox itself. It&#8217;s like having a self-cleaning oven, only the &#8220;self-cleaning&#8221; cycle activates randomly and usually at the most inconvenient times, like 5 AM on Thanksgiving morning when you&#8217;re just about ready to put the turkey in the oven.<\/p>\n<p>Adding &#8220;colon detox&#8221; to that is like buying a monkey trained to push the &#8220;self clean&#8221; button on your oven&#8217;s control panel. No: it&#8217;s like buying a monkey with an electrode embedded in the pleasure center of its brain, and connecting that electrode to the &#8220;self clean&#8221; button on your stove, so the monkey pushes the button over and over and over and over again and you can never bake a goddamned thing because the oven&#8217;s always on its clean cycle. (And your electric bill is through the roof!)&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I actually pissed myself a little laughing. Thank god it&#8217;s a hotel room. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I got nothing on this dude. Money quote: &#8220;Like a 43-year-old man with diverticulosis and IBS needs colon detox. Jesus. If I want my colon to be detoxed, all I need to do is wait and it&#8217;ll detox itself. It&#8217;s like having a self-cleaning oven, only the &#8220;self-cleaning&#8221; cycle activates randomly and usually at the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3900","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3900"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3900"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3900\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3900"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3900"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3900"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}