{"id":4228,"date":"2011-03-07T07:42:06","date_gmt":"2011-03-07T12:42:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=4228"},"modified":"2011-03-07T10:07:55","modified_gmt":"2011-03-07T15:07:55","slug":"last-night-i-had-the-strangest-dream","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=4228","title":{"rendered":"Last night I had the strangest dream"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I sailed away to china- No! That was in the <strike>70&#8217;s<\/strike>80&#8217;s. <\/p>\n<p>I dreampt that I had had an accident, and the accident had left me disabled, but that a team of talented surgeons had managed to put me back right, with the exception that I was now dangerously good at Golf. <\/p>\n<p>Tiger woods was the only person who could even pretend to play at my level, and we played 36 holes a day talking about types of grass and rough and other stuff I still don&#8217;t understand. I seemed to be having a good time. <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The trick&#8221; tiger told me &#8220;is to choose relatively plain women. They&#8217;re unfailingly grateful to have the attention of a celebrity, and it doesn&#8217;t make any difference what you look like, or what you ask for,  they&#8217;ll do it, and do it gladly&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>My disgust overflowed like cheap wine poured by a talentless waiter.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t knock it till you&#8217;ve tried it&#8221; continued mr woods, &#8220;You haven&#8217;t lived until you&#8217;ve had women who will call ahead for you and recruit other women for you in the next town&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>If this ever happens to me, please, god, please, as my friends, I want someone to put a bullet in my head. Or Billy Baroo my brain-pan clean off my shoulders. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I sailed away to china- No! That was in the 70&#8217;s80&#8217;s. I dreampt that I had had an accident, and the accident had left me disabled, but that a team of talented surgeons had managed to put me back right, with the exception that I was now dangerously good at Golf. Tiger woods was the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4228"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4228"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4228\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}