I have had a good deal of discomfort the last several weeks due to some extensive close work I’ve been doing, and the time I spend sleeping is nearly as bad, as I’ve been DREAMING of work, and wake up still exhausted. <\/p>\n
Last night I dreampt that the british had decided to try to re-capture the American colonies, figuring we had been weakened enough by the Won where we would be an easy mark. They figured having a colony like America would fix most of their financial difficulties, and they could use Nebraska as a prison colony. <\/p>\n
So they sent ghurkas in from the northern wastes of Canada. <\/p>\n
They would have gotten all our neighborhood without a peep, except I saw them creeping up the backyard. They had crossed the creek in their ghillie suits and were crawling through the as yet uncut grass. <\/p>\n
Pain- enough of it- sharpens your senses so that you can be annoyed by nearly anything. I glanced out the window and saw clumps of grass moving around the backyard. Fuckers. bad enough that the backyard is such a pain in the ass to mow, now the clumps pof grass are mobile? They fanned out and one headed for our house. I noticed the kukuri poking out through the ghillie, so I went out to nonchalantly start mowing the lawn and when i passed by him I tazed him with an M-26. <\/p>\n
He thrashed around some before I got a couple of zipties on him, and i carried him into the garage. Don’t give a damn who you are, with a guy my size sitting on you holding a running lawnmower, you aren’t gonna put up too much of a fight. <\/p>\n
Turns out these ghurkas aren’t what they used to be anyway, mostly kids with very little training and almost no self discipline. So I aked him a few pointed questions, got him to use his radio to recall his troops to the garage where I disarmed them one at a time and ziptied them to the dryer. <\/p>\n
Never did figure out why they were targeting this neighborhood. <\/p>\n
We shipped the lot of them back to Ontario, where we pushed them out of the back of a dump truck still ziptied to the dryer. <\/p>\n
I got a new dryer out of it, which was nice. Plus the BritGov was a little miffed at having had their elite advanced guard defeated by a fat fiftysomething homeowner in crocks and teletubbies boxers<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have had a good deal of discomfort the last several weeks due to some extensive close work I’ve been doing, and the time I spend sleeping is nearly as bad, as I’ve been DREAMING of work, and wake up still exhausted. Last night I dreampt that the british had decided to try to re-capture […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4316"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4316"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4316"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}