{"id":441,"date":"2005-08-06T08:57:49","date_gmt":"2005-08-06T13:57:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/69.50.194.231\/~vqplgdbg\/?p=441"},"modified":"2005-08-06T08:57:49","modified_gmt":"2005-08-06T13:57:49","slug":"the-dream-of-the-holstein-hogs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=441","title":{"rendered":"the Dream of the Holstein Hogs"},"content":{"rendered":"

After a big plateful of Jambalayah last night, I slept, and dreamed a dream wherin a large sow and her offspring, colored like holsteins, were rooting through the remains of last years garden, (unproductively of course), and I called the local gendarmes to have them handcuffed and hauled away. <\/p>\n

After Barney had tucked the momma hog’s head tenderly into the squad car, I sat on the retaining wall and enjoyed a coffee and a few fresh tomatos, for the garden had been cleverly moved south of the retaining wall to keep the deer (and, apparently, errant hogs) at bay. I rested my feet on a footstool of red leather, and a piglet, probably a 40- pounder, obviously the runt of the same litter for it bore the same gateway markings, started rooting through my green peppers. I reached in my pocket, pulled out a Babel fish, and jammed the little slithery bastartd into the hogs ear, then told it to go get my Kerner<\/a>. It returned, laid it’s head on my red leather footstool, and I dispatched it with haste. I grabbed a couple of slices of bacon straightaway, some tomatos, and wandered in the house to make a BLT. I hung the skin over my bed and made a keychain out of the curly little tail.<\/p>\n

Gotta stop eating spicy crap just before bed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After a big plateful of Jambalayah last night, I slept, and dreamed a dream wherin a large sow and her offspring, colored like holsteins, were rooting through the remains of last years garden, (unproductively of course), and I called the local gendarmes to have them handcuffed and hauled away. After Barney had tucked the momma […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=441"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}