{"id":4539,"date":"2011-08-05T02:07:35","date_gmt":"2011-08-05T07:07:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=4539"},"modified":"2011-08-05T02:07:35","modified_gmt":"2011-08-05T07:07:35","slug":"i-have-shrek-feet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=4539","title":{"rendered":"I have shrek feet."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Or perhaps orc feet. They&#8217;re pretty gnarled and funky in any event. Look at the job they have to do.<\/p>\n<p>Right know I&#8217;m awake and it&#8217;s not because I think 2:30 is a hella cool time to be awake, but because a little flap of dead skin on my left big toe decided to come almost loose and feel like a nail was being driven into my toe whenever it touched the sheets. I would just be drifting off to sleep and I&#8217;d be all like, hey what&#8217;s biting my toe? And then it would stop and id drift off again and then I&#8217;d move again and if be like wtf? So I used the flashlight feature of my Android phone to illuminate the area while I carved the bleeding and painful offending flap of dead skin off with my pocketknife. <\/p>\n<p>And of course now I can&#8217;t get back to sleep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Or perhaps orc feet. They&#8217;re pretty gnarled and funky in any event. Look at the job they have to do. Right know I&#8217;m awake and it&#8217;s not because I think 2:30 is a hella cool time to be awake, but because a little flap of dead skin on my left big toe decided to come [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4539"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4539"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4539\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}