{"id":478,"date":"2005-09-13T21:07:02","date_gmt":"2005-09-14T02:07:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/69.50.194.231\/~vqplgdbg\/?p=478"},"modified":"2005-09-13T21:07:02","modified_gmt":"2005-09-14T02:07:02","slug":"an-open-letter-to-my-kidneys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=478","title":{"rendered":"An open letter to my kidneys"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You guys are the best. You help regulate my blood pressure, filter waste products from my bloodstream, yadda yadda yadda. All in all, you do a fine job, and I am most appreciative. Really. <\/p>\n<p>One teensy thing, though: Could you maybe wait until the alarm goes off at 6:00 before you fill the bladder? 5:15 is a bad time. Really. When you make me get out of bed at that time, it just hoses up my whole fucking day, ok? And it isn&#8217;t like i haven&#8217;t tried. I mean, if I drink a little before I go to bed, it&#8217;s 5:15. If I drink a lot before I go to bed, it&#8217;s 5:15. if I drink nothing for four hours before bedtime and wring the last drops of urine out of my bladder, it&#8217;s 5:15. Always juuuuust enough time to get back to bed, and drift off to sound sleep agai.. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You guys are the best. You help regulate my blood pressure, filter waste products from my bloodstream, yadda yadda yadda. All in all, you do a fine job, and I am most appreciative. Really. One teensy thing, though: Could you maybe wait until the alarm goes off at 6:00 before you fill the bladder? 5:15 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=478"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}