{"id":5087,"date":"2012-05-02T15:50:33","date_gmt":"2012-05-02T20:50:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=5087"},"modified":"2012-05-02T20:19:38","modified_gmt":"2012-05-03T01:19:38","slug":"ill-see-your-golden-shower-and-raise-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=5087","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;ll see your golden shower and raise you&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Car pee<\/p>\n<p>My ride to work is often fraught with strife<br \/>\nfools surround me in their trucks and cars<br \/>\nI never saw such stupid in my life<br \/>\na leisurely commute&#8217;s not in my stars<\/p>\n<p>So as I sit and stew in my commute<br \/>\nmy bladder fills quite near to blowing up<br \/>\nmy anger fills me with an urge to shoot,<br \/>\nmy kidneys, with an urge to fill my cup<\/p>\n<p>With coffee once removed and recen&#8217;tly used<br \/>\na little bit of iced tea from last night<br \/>\nI know that I would be most heaven&#8217;ly soothed<br \/>\nbut spilling in my car would be my fright<\/p>\n<p>For if I had the dong to sit and piss<br \/>\nTo not make porn I&#8217;d surely be remiss. <\/p>\n<p>How about it, <a href=\"http:\/\/cheeseaisle.blogspot.com\/\">Eli<\/a>? An Haiku on goats. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Car pee My ride to work is often fraught with strife fools surround me in their trucks and cars I never saw such stupid in my life a leisurely commute&#8217;s not in my stars So as I sit and stew in my commute my bladder fills quite near to blowing up my anger fills me [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5087","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5087"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5087"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5087\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5087"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5087"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5087"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}