{"id":5373,"date":"2012-10-06T07:58:13","date_gmt":"2012-10-06T12:58:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=5373"},"modified":"2012-10-06T07:58:13","modified_gmt":"2012-10-06T12:58:13","slug":"i-love-a-smartass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=5373","title":{"rendered":"I love a smartass."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Guy at the 7-11: I see we&#8217;re eating from the two basic food groups today<br \/>\nMe: yes, sugar and preservatives<br \/>\n7-11: A part of this nutritious breakfast<br \/>\nme: as well as caffeine and heavy cream<br \/>\n7-11: Don&#8217;t leave home without it<br \/>\nme: <homer>Mmmm. Donuts<\/homer><br \/>\n7-11: You preserve the donuts, and the donuts will preserve you. <\/p>\n<p>As quick and easy as if we&#8217;d rehearsed it for a month. Some people are just natural born smartasses. Like yesterday:<\/p>\n<p>Co Worker 1 walks up behind Co Worker 2 and  grabs him firmly by the shoulders<\/p>\n<p>Co Worker 2: &#8220;You scared the shit out of me&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Me: &#8220;You&#8217;d have disapeared&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>it literally took everyone about eight seconds to figure that one out. <\/p>\n<p>I have had my ass kicked for being a smartass before, and I&#8217;m sure I will again. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Guy at the 7-11: I see we&#8217;re eating from the two basic food groups today Me: yes, sugar and preservatives 7-11: A part of this nutritious breakfast me: as well as caffeine and heavy cream 7-11: Don&#8217;t leave home without it me: Mmmm. Donuts 7-11: You preserve the donuts, and the donuts will preserve you. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5373"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5373"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5373\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}