{"id":576,"date":"2005-11-24T09:42:15","date_gmt":"2005-11-24T14:42:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/69.50.194.231\/~vqplgdbg\/?p=576"},"modified":"2005-11-24T09:42:15","modified_gmt":"2005-11-24T14:42:15","slug":"a-thanksgiving-memory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=576","title":{"rendered":"A thanksgiving memory"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every bit of thirty five years ago (jesus, how did i get so old?) we all sat down to thanksgiving dinner at my Uncle Frank’s<\/a> house. The Fairchilds were a Ward Cleaver family, to me: They had coffeetable books. Hell, they had a coffeetable! They had two bathrooms in their house! And an upstairs! Frank smoked a pipe just like Fred MacMurry. They had a bookcase full of engineering books. And every issue of National Geographic ever printed! Way back when they were full of lithographic engravings of bare-breasted African women and hunters with expensive double rifles next to freshly dead huge beasts.<\/p>\n

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, dinner. The dining room (Dining room! We ALWAYS ate right in the kitchen, they had a DINING ROOM!) my Aunt Roselle is handing a huge tureen of magma-hot gravy across me to my dad so he can sit it on the table, and splorps a huge dollop of it onto my shoulder. The burn quickly becomes a suppurating open sore, and by the end of the meal, my shoulder is swollen and a clump of skin the diameter of a golf ball has sloughed off and stuck itself to my teeshirt. For the remainder of the weekend I’m in pain and look like the hunchback of notre dame as I attempt to keep the sore from attaching itself to my clothes. <\/p>\n

Didn’t stop me from eating more than my share. In fact, as everyone felt so sorry for me they went out of their way to make sure I got plenty to eat. For the very first time in my life I was allowed free access to the Whipped Cream bowl for my pumpkin pie. <\/p>\n

Afterwards, my Aunt Rosie felt so bad about having spilled on me she baked cookies and made me eat them all. <\/p>\n

Meeeeemmmmmmmrreeeeeeeeez.<\/p>\n

Happy turkey day to you all!! Remember, this day celebrates the first proof of the abject failure of socialisim. Think back on that and grin. Some will never get it, will they?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every bit of thirty five years ago (jesus, how did i get so old?) we all sat down to thanksgiving dinner at my Uncle Frank’s house. The Fairchilds were a Ward Cleaver family, to me: They had coffeetable books. Hell, they had a coffeetable! They had two bathrooms in their house! And an upstairs! Frank […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-576","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=576"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}