{"id":7600,"date":"2015-09-30T13:20:38","date_gmt":"2015-09-30T18:20:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=7600"},"modified":"2015-09-30T13:20:38","modified_gmt":"2015-09-30T18:20:38","slug":"so-i-text-message-a-co-worker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=7600","title":{"rendered":"So i text message a co worker:"},"content":{"rendered":"

“You know where I can find the screws that hold the back cover on x machine?”<\/p>\n

He calls me (this required a four word answer btw).<\/p>\n

“You looking for them screws that hold the back cover on X machine?” <\/p>\n

I did NOT say “No, I was hoping you’d tell me if you had blue balls like a vervet monkey”. I did say “yes, that’s why I asked you that question”.<\/p>\n

He responded “Well you don’t have to get all smart about it”.<\/p>\n

I did NOT say “How would you know?”. <\/p>\n

Infinite patience level unlocked.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“You know where I can find the screws that hold the back cover on x machine?” He calls me (this required a four word answer btw). “You looking for them screws that hold the back cover on X machine?” I did NOT say “No, I was hoping you’d tell me if you had blue balls […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7600"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7600"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7600\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7601,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7600\/revisions\/7601"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}