as Today is the “Sunday” (if you will) of the Church of God the What Were You Thinking. <\/p>\n
It makes sense that it be Thursday, because it’s garbage day. As you’re dragging your bins to the curb thinking to yourself “why did I buy that treadmill? and how did it hide in the livingroom so long with clothes on it before it collapsed under the weight of the wife’s winter coats?” slap yourself (gently) and say to yourself ‘What was I thinking?’<\/p>\n
If garbage day is on another day in your neighborhood, don’t fret, it’s because the garbagemen are godless heathens. You are forgiven for doing the garbage on a monday, or even a friday.<\/p>\n
Also, thursday (at least around here) is Bowling night. Stop by a bowling alley and look at the people bowling. What were they thinking? this is a sport for fat old men who can only run 11 feet before getting out of breath. <\/p>\n
During your workday, look at the people around you. Look at Sylvia, in accounting. She’s wearing those tight pants again, the ones that make her ass look like two raccoons fighting in a condom. And she’s got that pale shirt on, and not wearing a bra, so you can see the imprint of her nipples just by her waistband. What was she thinking? <\/p>\n
Now, don’t slap any of these people. They’re nice, but probably unbelievers. They serve as an example to the believers, and someday, perhaps, they will come to believe as well. Slapping is a sacrament reserved for group ceremonies. If you want to gently tap yourself on the face and say “what were you thinking” when you see these people, that’s fine, just be very private about it. Otherwise everyone will think we’re Jack Benny impersonators. <\/p>\n
Be well, my friends. And no this does not absolve the Catholics among you of your sunday obligation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
as Today is the “Sunday” (if you will) of the Church of God the What Were You Thinking. It makes sense that it be Thursday, because it’s garbage day. As you’re dragging your bins to the curb thinking to yourself “why did I buy that treadmill? and how did it hide in the livingroom so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-763","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/763"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=763"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/763\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=763"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=763"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=763"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}