{"id":774,"date":"2006-03-30T06:02:15","date_gmt":"2006-03-30T11:02:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/69.50.194.231\/~vqplgdbg\/?p=774"},"modified":"2006-03-30T06:02:15","modified_gmt":"2006-03-30T11:02:15","slug":"as-youre-taking-the-garbage-to-the-curb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=774","title":{"rendered":"As you&#8217;re taking the garbage to the curb"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>remember the fourteen pound block of Jorgenmanjenson cheese that tasted so good in Sam&#8217;s club, and then languished in your fridge until it took on the consistency of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lederkram.de\/lederkram\/gewandung\/schuhe\/klompen.jpg\">klompen <\/a>; until it&#8217;s presence (occupying the same space as a whole case of beer) shamed you into throwing it out. After having eaten only two slices. Slap yourself gently on the cheek and repeat, &#8220;What was I thinking?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Be nice to as many people today as you can. Jake, in the mailroom. With the too-tight pants and the protruding nutsack. He could afford pants that fit properly but doesn&#8217;t What was he thinking? And Loraine, at the reception desk. She&#8217;s worn the same perfume for sixty two years, and there&#8217;s no way she can smell it on herself unless she uses a lot. What was she thinking? Those people are probably all good people who weren&#8217;t thinking when they prepared for their day. How about you? that blue skirt just doesn&#8217;t flatter your ass. And you should shave your legs if you&#8217;re gonna wear it to work without pantyhose. Especially you, Herb. What were you thinking?<\/p>\n<p>Now go out and have a good day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>remember the fourteen pound block of Jorgenmanjenson cheese that tasted so good in Sam&#8217;s club, and then languished in your fridge until it took on the consistency of klompen ; until it&#8217;s presence (occupying the same space as a whole case of beer) shamed you into throwing it out. After having eaten only two slices. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-774","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/774"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=774"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/774\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}