{"id":855,"date":"2006-05-18T05:09:49","date_gmt":"2006-05-18T10:09:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/69.50.194.231\/~vqplgdbg\/?p=855"},"modified":"2006-05-18T05:09:49","modified_gmt":"2006-05-18T10:09:49","slug":"touched-by-an-anvil","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=855","title":{"rendered":"Touched by an Anvil"},"content":{"rendered":"

Newest game show sensation<\/em><\/p>\n

I think this could be the next “survivor”. ordinary people bring their “friends” to the studio, and tell the studio audience about their friend’s activities. Here’s a sample:<\/p>\n

“Hi! I’m Sandy, and this is my neighbor Sara. She walks her Malamute in my yard and letsit shit there, and never cleans it up” Sara has two minutes to refute the claim, if she can, and if she can’t, she’s Touched by an Anvil ™ A La Warner Cartoons.(think Coyote. Road runner) Quickly, a pattern of unacceptible behavior emerges.<\/p>\n

‘Hi, I’m ___ and this is my friend\/neighbor\/brotherinlaw (etc) and he\/she:<\/p>\n

Mows the lawn at five AM on sunday
\nSings Bee Gees songs out of tune while listening to her Ipod
\nEats a pint of ben & Jerry’s every day and stubbornly refuses to weigh more than 106 lbs
\nDoes winsor pilates
\nStores worms in the refrigerator in a mayonnaise jar
\nIs a barking moonbat
\nSpams anyone, anywhere, anytime.
\nTurns without using directionals.
\ndrives 55 when everyone else is driving 70
\nDrives 70 when everyone else is driving 55
\nCauses road construction.
\nWaits until she is on the expressway to decide to change a tire\/run out of gas\/stall.<\/p>\n

When people start being able to use their remotes to drop anvils on these morons, several things will happen: the world will be a better place, and there will be something on TV that I’ll actually want to watch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Newest game show sensation I think this could be the next “survivor”. ordinary people bring their “friends” to the studio, and tell the studio audience about their friend’s activities. Here’s a sample: “Hi! I’m Sandy, and this is my neighbor Sara. She walks her Malamute in my yard and letsit shit there, and never cleans […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-855","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/855"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=855"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/855\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=855"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=855"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=855"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}