{"id":979,"date":"2006-08-08T23:18:27","date_gmt":"2006-08-09T04:18:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/69.50.194.231\/~vqplgdbg\/?p=979"},"modified":"2006-08-08T23:18:27","modified_gmt":"2006-08-09T04:18:27","slug":"sleep-study","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/?p=979","title":{"rendered":"Sleep Study"},"content":{"rendered":"

Over here<\/a> at HOI, Steve reminisces about this weekend with his Dad in Kentuck, trying to sleep through jet-engine like snoring.<\/p>\n

I can relate. Or, those that know me, can. <\/p>\n

I went through a sleep study some years ago. Let me tell you something about sleep studies: if you can sleep through one? you DON’T have a sleeping issue. <\/p>\n

First: I cannot sleep on my back. Sleep sudies pretty much require that you sleep on your back.<\/p>\n

Second: SOmeone is watching you sleep. If this doesn’t creep you out, you need to have a check up from the neck up. No, it’s not about modesty, see the post several below this one- I showered daily with over a hundred other guys for years. It’s just creepy. <\/p>\n

Third: You have a hissing, burbling thing sitting thirty inches from your head inflating you as you try to sleep. You have to push hard to exhale. <\/p>\n

Fourth: you have electrodes glued to your scalp, legs, etc. with the medical equivalent of Elmer’s Glue. <\/p>\n

Fifth: Every time you move, some electrode\/wire\/piece of tubing\/whatever comes loose and the examiner has to turn on the lights and come in and fix something. <\/p>\n

sixth: When you DO get a CPAP, it’s like having Darth Vader whispering in your ear all night long. While a machine inflates your face. Should you accidentally open your mouth, the whistling noise will make neighbors a block away think you’re yodeling.<\/p>\n

I could as easily have slept with a pair of live scorpions duct taped to the inside of my eyelids. It’s pure and simple bullshit. I pity anyone who goes through it, and as far as I’m conncerned, anyone who claims to derive any benefit from this voodoo is demonstratingthe placebo effect. <\/p>\n

I am a sound sleeper, always have been. A tornado once rocked the foundations of our house, sucked off a part of the roof, busted the windows out of the house. I slept through it. I woke in a rain-soaked bed covered with broken glass while my mom and my kid sister cowered in the basement. I have slept standing up wedged between two huge pipes filled with extrmely volatile gas. I have slept on a picnic table in a park while someone was using a chainsaw five feet away. <\/p>\n

A commenter at Steve’s place suggests I “zen out’. Sorry, pbird. Pity you were taken in by this bullshit. Sorry my insurance premiums go to pay for rube goldberg treatments for made-up maladies so idiot physicians can take their seat by the money river and dip into my pockets.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Over here at HOI, Steve reminisces about this weekend with his Dad in Kentuck, trying to sleep through jet-engine like snoring. I can relate. Or, those that know me, can. I went through a sleep study some years ago. Let me tell you something about sleep studies: if you can sleep through one? you DON’T […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-979","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/979"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=979"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/979\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=979"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=979"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neanderpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=979"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}