Kim posts about his happiness to be out of the dating pool, and I couldn’t agree more.

Fact is, for guys like Kim and I, and probably a lot of you out there, dating is the ultimate in salesmanship. We have to sell our attributes in a way that makes them endearing, and I have to say, that’s a pig what needs a bucketload of lipstick. And a couple pounds of bondo. And maybe a bra and a girdle.

The ultimate goal, of course, is to marry dramatically above ourselves. To be wed to a woman who is our superior physically, mentally, emotionally, and if possible who has a saner and more normal family than ours. Money is good too. The evolutionary advantages alone are huge- but the reality is, pimping my big ass out as some kind of prize is a task of no minor difficulty.

Lets face it: If I got what I deserved, I’d be married to a crack whore with no teeth and bad odors emanating from every orifice, who takes potshots at me every once in a while with my own guns, and regularly stabs me in my sleep.

Instead I managed, like Kim, to attract a woman who is an absolute doll; a woman who still gives me serious wood to see her naked, a good mother and wife, a joy to go to sleep next to, and wake up next to.

And I pray every night that she never comes to her senses.