The first casualty of Obamacare was, ironically, the man who fought a lifelong battle for nationalized health care. Brak, who visited the ailing senior senator tuesday, could not be reached for comment. A hispanic housekeeper was able to relate the following interchange between the President and Senator:

Brak: You’ve lived a long life.
Ted: mumflyx gremfley
Brak: and these pillows are so soft
Ted: (Feebly struggling)
Brak: You won’t feel a thing, and you will leave room for a younger, healthier person to take your place
Ted: …
Brak: I’m sure this is how you would have wanted it.