Overheard in the pharmacy
Little shop by the old house, old time traditional Rexall type pharmacy, pharmacist on duty using a speakerphone to answer calls while he filled scrips.
“Hello? yeah I’m having trouble with these damned pills”
“What pills are those?”
“The Viagra. How far in am I supposed to put them?”
“how far…. ! Those are to be taken orally!!”
“yeah, right. Next you’ll be telling me I’m supposed to stick suppositories in my ears. Anyway, these aren’t working worth a damn, they must be defective. And I’m pissing needles!! Couldn’t they make the bastards round? why do they have to make sharp corners on ’em?”
“I think you need to get to the ER pretty soon, mr ___, you might have some problems otherwise”
I had to leave. I was torn between laughing and cringing, and cringing was winning.
Dear God…
When I was in High School about 1960 a classmate was badly constipated and was to insert a suppository during the school day. As we were walking home, he was hobbling really, and in considerable distress. He showed us the packet and said to us,
“I dunno if I’m supposed to swallow these damn things whole or just let ’em melt. For all the good they’re doing, I might just as well shove ’em up my ass.”
I lost it right there on the street in front of God, man, and all the Angels, and wet my pants from laughing. There were four of us doubled over in hysterical laughter and one lone suppository breath nitwit without a clue.
Just to prove how humane teen age boys can be none of us ever told anyone why we all cracked up every time we saw Joel for weeks afterward. Years later he told me he lived for months in abject terror that one of us would let his secret out.
Gerry N.
Does this count as a Valentine’s Day post?
Someone I know once mixed up Lexapro and Levitra in conversation, then corrected themselves with “Oh well, they’re both happy pills.”
(Name and gender removed to protect the guilty, and my sanity.)
20+ years ago, when DRG coding for medical issues/procedures/therapies was taking off, I was a “concurrent coder” in a hospital in central Pennsylvania – one of the charts that crossed my desk was of an older man, who was prone to kidney/bladder stones – with a subsequent bout, HE decided he could remove them from his urethra on his own, with an old-fashioned, mercury-filled glass thermometer – yep, it got stuck & had to be surgically removed {IMAGINE if it had broken & the mercury spilled out}.
Another time, another orifice – I was working as a civilian in a U.S. Naval hospital, when word came that a young sailor was being transferred from a civilian hospital in the area – seems he’d been engaging in some …………. unusual behavior, and had “lost” a set of salad tongs – he was transferred to the Naval hospital for removal – one of the nurses in my department was TAD out of the country, so in his next “care package” from the department, a set of salad tongs were sent to him, with the claimed provenance of having been ……………….. “retrieved” from the unfortunate sailor …………..
Semper Fi’
DM
[…] Doofus comes to us courtesy of the blog Neanderpundit. It seems a gentleman couldn’t quite figure out how to take (or administer) his Viagra tablets . . . Head on over to the link and read the rest for yourself. I was drinking tea when I read […]