The shower massage
on the extensile hose may be the most important invention for fat men, known to man.
The ability ro use the hand held device to direct a stream of hot water to clean all the nooks and crannies is more important than most people will ever understand, if you don’t have a spare tire or two.
While in Canada, I did not have such a device available to me. So I did the best I could, but the combination of long trips in the car and the medicating action of Gold Bond made it inevitable that I would develop one or more blackheads on my nether regions, and last night it arrived.
Now, I don’t know what’s more disturbing; waking up and scratching to find a well developed nad zit, painfully extricating it, discovering that it has the size, shape, color, and consistency of a sesame seed, or wondering if it WAS a seed and if so how it got embedded in my nutsack.
The brain bleach is in the cabinet under the sink.
19 comments Og | Uncategorized
I think my mother would cry if she knew I checked this Web site every morning.
Make what you will of that.
Arrggghhhh!!!!
Bob
III
What a way to start off the week! Yikes!
TMI
Not enough brain bleach in the world to get that out of my head. I now welcome earworms as a distraction.
They say the decision to stop a bad habit and change is often the result of a catalyst.
I am now ready to diet, exercise and lose weight.
Yikes! I hope you’re buying that brain bleach in bulk
And a side order of steel wool to scrub with
You forgot to mention the clingons that like to hide from toilet paper.
Oh, have ya ever popped one of those seeds in your teeth?
Yeah, me neither.
Og, there’s a reason they call those things “ballwashers”.
Damned, I WAS cooking dinner…
Got a humongous nasty zit once, right in the exit port, ultimately requiring assistance from the ER. Turns out it was indeed an impacted Sesame Seed prolly from some Chinee takeout. The Trauma Doc. got it out, drained the hole and applied some anti-bacterial stuff. He told me Sesame Seeds do this with distressing frequency.
Gerry N.
What’s distressing to me is that someone in Indiana (*ahem*)was reading this post and then afterward decided to click the link to MY blog.
I’m worried. . .
My travel kit includes a 6′ shower hose, shower head, teflon tape and a small crescent wrench. For motels not equipped with the proper equipment, they do in short order after my arrival.
I have also done, that, El Cap. This was, unfortunately, an inlaws home. Would have been hard to splain. But yeah.
Bunch’a pussy’s!
You ought to try and dig a stinking, putrid dead calf out of a cow, piece by piece, to save her life.
Never a dead one, but I have pulled a live calf out of a cow.
I was always on “help your father bury that dead cat from out by the road” duty as a kid … even did one that had gone stiff and had to be folded in half to fit in the hole. I can deal with dead animals.
But dude.
“discovering that it has the size, shape, color, and consistency of a sesame seed, or wondering if it WAS a seed”
Taste Test.
Duh….