On a number of occasions
being the kind of guy who prefers not to climb a ladder while clutching a running chainsaw, I have used a rope saw to drop branches.
I was in the process of doing this on a rather large tree for some friends, and since they were particular what branches they wanted dropped and where, i was having to be extra careful where my rope saw cut.
I have zero athletic abilities- I cannot throw a stone at the broadside of a barn, from the inside. So I had a rubber ball on a fishline in a Zebco 202 taped to the bottom of a Wrist Rocket.
At some height, though, the line would get caught so i switched to a little baggie with sand in it, which helped, but not quite enough. So I had some shotshells in the truck, and I cut them open to take out five or six ounces of lead #6 birdshot.
This worked perfectly, and I cut down several limbs. The last one, however, was high. So I stood back, took aim, and shot my little bag of lead shot over the branch.
A car horn or backfire distracted me momentarily
And the bag of lead shot clocked me in the back of the head like a sap. It laid me out like a mackerel, and when I woke up it was getting dark.
I cut down the branch and went home.
I have always been the person I should fear most.
16 comments Og | Uncategorized
That’s beautiful
“I have always been the person I should fear most.” has just been added to the family creed; along with “Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they AREN’T out to get me.” and “No job, no matter how small, can be completed without becoming a MUCH larger undertaking.”
I assure you that you are not the least athletically inclined person on the planet. That poor guy mows our lawn. His two feats are walking while chewing bubble gum, and driving a car with a clutch.
Oh, I’m plenty coordinated enough when need to be, I just can’t throw or catch anything.
Were there witnesses?
No. There are often witnesses to my stupidity, and sometimes, they actually survive.
You just try and buy a rope saw at Ace Hardware, True Value, or Menard’s. I had need of one in 2004; I had to make one by buying a chainsaw chain, a couple of key rings, and some rope, and doing the obvious assembly. *sigh*
This was true in 2004. I have no idea about now.
…same deal as with the tire spoons:
“Can I help you?”
“Yeah, I need a rope saw.”
“A what?”
*sigh*
Dude, that has to be about the funniest think I’ve read for a while. I feel for you, but that would be a top ten funniest home video.
Bout as good as the guy who thought a bulldozer could push over a silo.
Reminds me of the time my Dad needed to get a rope over a high tree limb.
Well, lookee here- this adjustable wrench has a nifty tie-rope hole right there in the handle. Just fling that wrench…
You KNOW what happened.
Saturday I was on a 14 foot ladder with a chainsaw.
Just as I was sawing through the branch I saw how it was caught on another branch and that if it came free, it would swing right towards me.
It did.
Now you tell me about rope saws.
[…] Neanderpundit – Another funny! […]
Please tell me that that last fling of the shot-bag wasn’t preceded by a “Hold my beer and watch THIS”
As an anthropologist, anyone who uses the term “Neanderpundit” has my vote :)
LC:As an anthropologist, you’re probably the only person who can understand the irony of the name.
Dog: I’m allergic to alcohol. I break out in handcuffs.
It’s probably hard to climb a ladder with a crowny sack full of hand grenades dangling between your knees.
I don’t even need saws or ladders or heavy weights. Yesterday I took some chairs to Goodwill, so I had a piece of plywood lashed to my roof rack, on top of which I lashed the chairs. The chairs made it to Goodwill unharmed, but then I got on the freeway to make an appearance at work. It is surprising how much lift a @#$%^&* FLAT piece of 4×6 3/4 inch plywood makes at 55 mph. Much more than the clips on a rain-gutterless rack can withstand.
God looks after fools, so no one was too close behind me.
If you were out, you should get checked out for at least a concussion.
Being unconscious for any length of time is serious. My ex who is now a neurologist always said she was concerned about the times in my history that I was hit in the head.
This was several years back, Windy, the damage has probably already been done. but thanks for the concern, and I will remember that in future.