Okay, Mr Mazda madman.
I know that I’m harshing your mellow. I know that I’m driving my Exploder along at a sedate, grandfatherly 85 mph, because that’s what the prevailing traffic is running at. I see that you’ve flashed your lights at me. Yes, I saw that, again. Now that makes three times.
Guess what? if I get out from in front of you, you will simply have to flash your lights at the van ahead of me, and the semi ahead of her, and so on and so forth. You won’t be getting anywhere any more quickly than you are now.
Here’s a little hint. Do you see that ribbon of highway, just to your left? That’s called ‘The Fast Lane’. There’s nobody in it. I can see at least a mile ahead, and there’s nobody in it for all that distance. Ah, good! You found it! The only thing that could make that any better would be if you had found your turn signal! I know it’s in the car, you used it to flash your lights at me.
Now you can USE all that 126 MPH that your car is capable of. yes, I see your finger, I’m sure you ARE #1.
……
Ah, I see you’ve met and are having a conversation with Mr Police Officer.
Karma is a stone cold bitch sometimes, isn’t it?
17 comments Og | Uncategorized
Ahhh… a happy ending. Nice story for first thing in the morning!
Love it!
Some years back I commuted to work by bus up the NJ Turnpike. One day we had an early morning snowfall, and the turnpike was covered with four or five inches of snow. Most people were doing a moderate speed given the conditions (40ish maybe), but this one yahoo in a white Bronco (just like OJ’s!) went tearing up the left lane at about 70. A couple miles later we saw him piled up against the guardrail, after apparently learning that 4WD doesn’t help you stop or turn when there’s slipperly stuff under your tires.
To paraphrase C.S. Lewis, obey the laws of prudence, or you WILL obey the laws of physics.
Everyone likes a happy ending in the morning!
Mark: We get the occasional hummer owner here who believes their expensive purchase provides them with immunity to the laws of physics.
I remember the last Snowmageddon we had here a few years ago. All the Hummer owners were out (as well as all the guys with big pick-up trucks and 4×4 suburbans) pulling smaller vehicles out of snow banks and ditches.
I don’t remember anyone giving them a hard time about their massive egos or planet-killing fuel consumption then.
lol. Yep. Some people actually know how to use those vehicles, and do.
I hope you waved as you drove by, Og. :)
Reminds me of when a car full of Mexicans went flying past me on the berm of an exit ramp. I guess they couldn’t see the lightbar of the Deputy in front of me. My Ranger 4X4 is just tall enough. That was hysterical, because as traffic slowly went by them, we all got to laugh at their dumbasses.
All those times of wishing there was a cop to observe some dumbass makes it just that more sweet when that one dumbass is indeed observed.
R-O-F-L!!!!!!
I say again,
R-O-F-L!!!!!!
Did you wave as you went by? I would have waved! And probably tooted my horn!
Added: it reminds me of this story at the Fungus.
Yeah, it’s shameless self-promotion, but it is a funny story.
Heading from Dallas to Shreveport, my buddy & I were overtaken by an Oldsmobuick driven by (from what we could see) a thatch of white hair & set of wrinkled knuckles high on the steering wheel.
It was doing at least 80, and its left turn blinker had probably been flashing since the guy got on I-20 in Abilene.
So, being the good Samaritans we were, my buddy stomped on the gas, while I pulled out some paper & a Sharpie to make a sign reading “TURN OFF YOUR BLINKER, YOU RECKLESS @$$HOLE!!!”
Alas, the 4-cylinder Chevy Nova, loaded down with fat men & iron, proved unable to catch the alacritous oldster.
All was made right with the world about 10 miles outside of Longview, when we passed the Oldsmobuick being ticketed by a State Trooper on the right side of the road.
With the left blinker still flashing…
What’s particularly satisfying is that the fast lane was open and this jackwagon was flashing his lights at you to move out of the slow lane so he could speed by you.
Yep, I would have tooted and waved as I went by him.
LOL
Reminds me of the jerks that passed me on a double line… Yes the road was a sweeeping curve that one could see for miles… but they did not see Mr Speedcop parked at the apex…
As you say Karma… :-)
Some years back the lady wife and I were leaving town heading for the PA in-laws’. It was March and we’d had a fair amount of snow and ice overnight, and prudence dictated running about 30MPH on I-70 east of Indy.
Some crazy broad in a Toyota Camry with Hamilton County (Carmel) plates came blasting up the left lane doing about 50 and passed us. We both remarked that she was clearly out of her mind. I believe but can’t recall for sure that she was also on the phone.
And about half a mile later, she hit black ice, spun out, and ended up in the median facing back the way she’d come. It reminded me of the old Charlie Daniels line, “puttin’ a ton of [snow] in the air”.
We called 911 and reported it and drove on…and about 10 miles later we passed the edge of the storm track and it was clear sailing all the way to Harrisburg.
Same thing happened to me once while traveling in rural Louisiana. Only difference is when I passed the car later it was wrapped around a tree completely. I think the motor had actually been pushed into the trunk.
Second worst wreck I have ever seen.
Coming up I35 one day, came upon a guy doing about 55, so pulled over to pass. AFTER checking mirrors, mind you. To find myself halfway around him when some jerk who almost materialized in my mirror proceeded to do a flamenco dance on his seat in his urgent need to let me know I should have somehow gotten out of his way faster so he wouldn’t have to slow down.
And yes, he did flip me off when he tore by. Apparently that being more important than actually looking at the road in front of him, as he was trying to make eye contact the while.
I love me some karma!