Neanderpundit

Having done this, with some measure of success, I can say there are some very simple ways to make your Dibney experience more enjoyable:

1: DO NOT BRING INFANTS IN ARMS. They don’t understand what the fuck is going on. At all. They think they’re at a very noisy mall. With parents who are cranky. They cannot ride the rides. They are frightened by the smelly characters dressed in smelly damp suits of polyester fur. Wait until the kids are ten. Or, at least 40″ tall, because that seems to be the magic number: 40″. Nearly all the rides, you have to be 40″ tall. Leave the short kids at home, or wait till they grow a bit.

2: Go cheap early. The “all star resorts” are under a hundred a night. You can stay in much nicer hotels, which you will not see except in the brief period between being at the parks and being asleep. The All Star resorts are clean and can be had cheap in the off season. Off season is best for a lot of reasons, not least of which is the hotel discount, and the lack of long ines in the park.

3: Go grocery shopping. You can get a room with a little fridge if you ask for it and you’ll want to have something to eat. Oh, there are huge cafeterias, and they have decent food; as long as you don’t mind dropping six bucks on a plate of eggs, or four bucks on a coke. Airport food is cheaper. On the other hand, if you don’t mind buying ahead of time, the meal plans can make a difference.

4: Comfortable shoes.
5: Comfortable shoes.
6: Did I mention that the food was expensive? I paid $16 for meatloaf. Meat. Loaf. Now, it was some mighty good meatloaf. But, still, it was meatloaf. Having a fridge full of snacks etc. in the room will save you hundreds of bucks,even if you just eat cereal in the room instead of $20 breakfasts in the cafeteria.
7: If you fly, take advantage of one of the bus services that get you there and back. If you drive, park your car at the hotel and take the busses back and forth between the parks. the buses are free, and they take you directly to the park entrance. If you feel the need to add a 2 mile walk at the beginning and end of your day in addition to the (average) seven miles you’ll walk in the park, that’s your perogative.
Which brings me to
8: Comfortable shoes. Did I mention you need comfortable shoes? Get yourself a pair of New Balance walking shoes. Make sure you walk at least two miles in them before you get to the parks so you know if there are any places that rub your feet wrong.
9: Dress well. The best solution seems to be shorts and a light shirt, preferably cotton. As I invariably dress like Johnny Cash, it was lost on me- but no matter how you dress you can find a place to cool down almost anywhere. \
10: Inclement weather.We had some rain sprinkles when we were there, and people alternately sweated and froze.People bought these transparent rain ponchos in the parks- you could get them anywhere- and they seemed to be a lot like wearing a full-body condom in comfort and style. Wait the rain out. At no point did the rain last more than 20 minutes, I was able to hang out in shops during that time with no trouble at all.

there are a lot more, but these are the principle ones at the moment.

Thankfully, Jenny stood me in good stead. I’m disapointed nobody stepped in to give HER some grief.

Thanks, Jenny, you’re a doll.

Now:

After a week in Dibneyworld, I have discovered a few things about physics, chemistry, and humans. I’ll elaborate later.

I’m pleased to see the arrival of The Gun Guy to my blogroll, I hope others are as well.

We were in Orlando during the passage of Rita. We were sprinkled on one day. Others will not be that lucky. Those in the path are in our thoughts and prayers.

I spent the last seven days disconnected completely from the outside world. I got some news from the tv at the hotel, but I only paid attention to the Rita coverage.

I read some bullshit at Mr Porretto’s blog on my phone one day, and it riled me so much I nearly threw the phone into the lake at Epcot center. Not what mr Porretto wrote, of course, but what he was writing about. Henceforth I left the phone in the room.

More later, as I get caught up. And at least one amusing Dibney crapblogging story.

So Og takes his family on vacation and just before they go he asks me to load the entries on the site every day while he’s gone. Sure, I’m happy to do that, that’s what friends are for, no?

Except . . . here’s what he said for me to do today: “Then, on Friday, I want you to do me a huge, gigantic, enormous favor. I want you to write a post.”

How can I refuse a favor for a friend? Even for a devious double-dealing annoying son of a–wait, Og has a nice mother, I can’t use that — anyway, what’s a girl to do?

I’m stuck.

And now, so are you. All letters of complaint and restraining orders should be sent to Og ’cause it’s all his fault.

So, I did what I usually do when faced with a writing assignment and a deadline; I messed around until it was almost late.

No, actually I went to my usual sources of inspiration in these situations: I looked through the Oxford Book of Quotations, Google, my music collection, and when all else failed me (as it always, always does), I rummaged around in my head.

It seems appropriate that I should write about friendship because that’s what got us all here in the first place.

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still: you must not want to see everything. — Friedrich Nietzsche

“Miss your voice/and the touch of your hand
Just long to know/that you understand
My buddy . . . “ — Gus Kahn

(BTW, I asked Og if they were truly visiting “The happiest place on Earth.” He told me where he thought that was situated . . . trust me on this one, it’s nowhere near Orlando.)

A friend in need . . . is a pest. — Attributed to Joe E. Lewis by Frank Sinatra

A friend will get you out of jail.
A good friend will help you hide bodies.

Here in the South, your friend will not get you out of jail, but that’s because he’s in the next cell over yelling, “Whoa buddy, didn’t we screw up this time?”

Son, brother, father, lover, friend. There is room in the heart for all the affections, as there is room in heaven for all the stars. — Victor Hugo

You gotta have freeeeeeeeeeends . . . Oh hell no.

Ultimately I come back to what I truly know on the subject, which is this:

Friends are the people who know everything about you . . . and love you just the same.

Your happiness is their happiness too; your wants and needs and desires and even sometimes your petty little whims are as meaningful to them as their own.

They exult in your success; they comfort you in your tragedies.

They catch you when you fall.

I am honored to have such a friend in Og; he carries a bright and shining heart.

May you all be so blessed.

(I am going to hurt him when he gets back, though.)

Og’s friend Jenny