Neanderpundit

who wakes at four in the ayem and watches the infomercials about the magic bullet, the sexual stamina supplements, and the knife collecting and whips out their credit card and actually orders that shit.

I do like watching the yoga programs. it minds me of Lilias Folan who did an early morning PBS program called ‘Lilias, Yoga, and You’. it was the closest thing to televised porn I was going to get at 16, and even though she was in her forties at the time, she still filled out a pair of leotards well.

Painfully, yoga pants and cameltoe were still things of the future, back then, so I had to use my imagination a lot, but I have and had an extremely talented imagination.

I do still enjoy giving new names to the positions. Right now they’re doing “Autoerotic puppy” and moving on to “Farting frog”. The funniest is when they leap from “Down dog” (Which I like to refer to as”Take me, I’m yours”) to “Crow” (Which I like to refer to as “Please, kick me in the nether regions”).

In my next life, I expect that I will be a wedgie-puller in a bangladeshi yoga house/dry cleaners, and I will be paid in pre-owned curry, because of the amount of time I spend laughing at these people. Still. If God had intended your chakras to exist at right angles to the space time continuum, he’d have given us extra knees.

even the cold winter rain, the grey clouds obliterating the sky. Even the snow was welcome, the big flakes hitting my face and shorn head made me smile.

What I can’t abide is the bloody, bloody wind.

Harve Presnell was in a bunch of stuff, but he never beat that role, in my book.

Maybe a quarter of an inch, at most. Nothing to speak of. Roads wet and icy.

Probably means Mr B got a foot.

I got a nice extra envelope at work yesterday that allowed me to do a few things for the Ogwife and Oglet I usually cannot do; our Christmases are- as they have always been- focused on the daughter. The gifting part of Christmas, to me, is about children. The wife and I have been in the habit of wrapping up toiletries and occasionally things we already own to make it seem like we’re making out like bandits, and the Daughter has never noticed. Today I set up the wife’s present and I could not be more excited to give it to her.

Our Christmas experience has always been a spiritual one and not materialistic; still, to be able to do something nice for the people I love is extremely exciting to me.