Neanderpundit

I just deleted a half-dozen pings from people who were apparently hawking Ikea knockoff furnishings. Don’t you fucking people know what ADVERTIZING AGENCIES are for?

Velociman tagged me with a meme, the coldhearted SOB, and while I specifically don’t participate in them, I am got-damned if he’s gonna show ME up, so here you go. And don’t get any ideas, this is not gonna be a regular Og feature.

What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?

That’s a tough one. There were SO many stupid things, and I excel at them. Hmmmm.In no particular order:

1:buying a 50 year old house in which raccoons were living and making it livable again. Yes, This Old House has been around the block, and almost every day there is a maintenance issue that must be addressed. We spent three months cleaning it and sealing it to keep out the coons, and it was no mean feat. And all out of pocket. And all with no actual contract of sale. The owner was an obsessive compulsive dipstick who saved everything, including garbage. We had to get the place cleaned up so we could get a mortgage approval, and even at the very last moment the owner jerked us around. I wanted to kill him, but we stood our ground. The place is in a beautiful neighborhood, very old money, and the house is a solid old ranch, limestone and cedar. In about 50 years, I might be done rehabbing it.

2: Marrying a woman who was so frigid, when she uncrossed he legs the weather changed. She was a firecracker until I put the ring on her finger. Then I met the ice Princess.

3: Drinking. Anytime, anywhere. When it only takes about a six pack to make you hijack a trailways bus to florida, you should know that you have no tolerance for alcohol.

At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

That would be Rod Blowdryabitch, Governor of the State of Illinois, and author of the 5.3 billion dollar “congestion relief” program which is anything but. Every weekday, as I wend my way to work through 55 miles of the most horrible road construction ever imagined by man, I call ol’ Rod some things that make Cthulhu cringe in terror.

If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were
allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?

Samuel Langhorne Clemens. Peter Capstick. Marion Michael Morrison. Kate Hepburn. William Holden.

If I have to explain any of those to you, you’re an idiot.

If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they
be?

1: To go Hunting in Africa.
2: To live in a Geisha house
3: To have this #$&$&$##&&@&& house finished.

Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should
avoid.

Whorehouses. Outdoor rifle ranges. Menards. That Tandoori place.

Name one thing that has changed your life.

Being married to a good woman.

Vman claims I cannot reach his neck with a razor blade, which is true. But, someday, a blogmeet will come along, where I will give him an intimate view of the Asscheeks of Doom, wherin most grown men will claw their eyeballs out with garden rakes.

And no, I won’t tag anyone. Fuck that, it’s like passing on the runny clap just because you can.

You can count on it, when brain dead asstards like Mike Bloomberg spout off shit like this

money quote?
“Granting the gun industry immunity will make it easier for criminals to get firearms and put our law enforcement officers at greater risk,” the mayor said.

Then there was Dickhead Feinstein:

“I just find it an absolute travesty that these people who are going to be killed (and) maimed by weapons that have been negligently handled (will) have no recourse,” Feinstein said. “And it’s the only industry in America that’s this way.”

Let me clear something up for you, fuckstein, you oxygen bandit: NO INDUSTRY GETS SUED WHEN IT’S PRODUCT IS USED IN AN ILLEGAL MANNER. You don’t sue GM because a moron robbed a white hen and drove off in a Blazer. Capisco? No? maybe you should get a job shovelling ditches, it’s what you’re intellectually suited to do.

Listen, you brain dead fucktards, BECAUSE I’M GONNA SAY THIS ONLY ONE TIME.

CRIMINALS DO NOT GO TO GUN SHOPS TO BUY GUNS. No activity on the part of manufacturers is aimed at, intended to, or plans for putting firearms in the hands of criminals. It is LAW ENFORCEMENT that allows criminals easy access to firearms through it’s incompetence in applying existing laws.

Thanks, guys. House of reps votes 283-144. Nicely done. now sign it, W, and sign it into law fast.

Oh, and this is a particularly nice take on the situation.