Neanderpundit

I love the stuff, but I gotta stop eating it right before bed.

I dreampt I was at a wedding- a black tie affair, outdoors, held on the big island of Hawaii, in Volcano national park. I had rented a very nice tux, the Ogwife and Oglet were dressed to the nines (I was forced to take the ogwife off to a private place and maul her several times prior to the ceremony, she looked so tasty) and everything was top-shelf.

The ladies had all been treated to spa treatments the day before, and the gentlemen had all had a real barber shave that very morning.

At the “Pre reception” we milled around, and drank spendy booze out of glasses blown just for the occasion. Girls were wandering around the grounds with scandium framed smith 38 revolvers, which they demonstrated were loaded with multicolored flares, and when requested, they would strap one on you in an ankle holster so you didn’t have to crease your tux. Apparently we got to keep the revolvers afterwards as well.

A table was lined with fine cigars and Savinelli Autograph pipes, which Giancarlo Savinelli personally made for the occasion. A similar table was covered with high end handbags containing tennis bracelets etc., for the ladies.

It was an incredible soiree, and we all sat down while the non denominational minister gave the speech from Princess Bride. Then the bride and groom, Tam and Roberta, paraded up to the minister and stood in the whyan sunshine. All I could think was “Tam and Roberta? A minister? ” I really am gonna have to lay off the wasabi trail mix just before bed.

Last night, because it was nice and cool (Only 82!) I changed the transmission fluid in the new(ish) truck.

I found this inside.

When Ford assembles the transmissions, they put in this little plug to keep the fluid in and the dirt out. They have a little pin sticking out the top, and when the line guy assembles it, he uses the pin to line up the dipstick tube, and pushes the dipstick tube into the transmission hole. The plastic part, harmless and too much of a problem to bother taking out at this time, remains in the transmission. Finding one in a trans means you’re the first person to ever be there.

So the trans in the 99 sploder is unmolested and in excellent condition. I’m well pleased.

being the kind of guy who prefers not to climb a ladder while clutching a running chainsaw, I have used a rope saw to drop branches.

I was in the process of doing this on a rather large tree for some friends, and since they were particular what branches they wanted dropped and where, i was having to be extra careful where my rope saw cut.

I have zero athletic abilities- I cannot throw a stone at the broadside of a barn, from the inside. So I had a rubber ball on a fishline in a Zebco 202 taped to the bottom of a Wrist Rocket.

At some height, though, the line would get caught so i switched to a little baggie with sand in it, which helped, but not quite enough. So I had some shotshells in the truck, and I cut them open to take out five or six ounces of lead #6 birdshot.

This worked perfectly, and I cut down several limbs. The last one, however, was high. So I stood back, took aim, and shot my little bag of lead shot over the branch.

A car horn or backfire distracted me momentarily
And the bag of lead shot clocked me in the back of the head like a sap. It laid me out like a mackerel, and when I woke up it was getting dark.

I cut down the branch and went home.

I have always been the person I should fear most.