Brain bleach warning
But it doesn’t make any difference, y’all are gonna read anyway.
Monday night I mashed up an avocado, stirred in some salsa, sour cream, and Chihuahua cheese. Ate it with some nice fresh restaurant style chips.
Yesterday, I experienced what can only be described as “Cannon ass”. The combination of smell, texture, and velocity was the Unholy Trinity of ass emission. I got a nice card from Cthulhu and Nyarlathotep congratulating me on my most excellent work. When I opened the window out of sheer self preservation, I realized that I had done what I thought impossible: I made myself sick to my stomach.
Regular readers will understand the enormity of this statement.
Anyway, I plan to make some of the same thing for the Ogmeet.
UPDATE: Had to stop and leave the last of this at the Hinsdale Oasis this morning. The only other resident of the bathroom at that time was an (apparently) non english speaking person in the stall three stalls down; thirty seconds into my deposit he screamed something that sounded like “PEMBROKE WELSH CORGI!” and hobbled off at speed still pulling up his pants as he went, trailing asswipe and aroma.
13 comments Og | Uncategorized
Dude,Please! Bleach ain’t gonna work this time!
I call that an assplosion.
I am glad I took the Skyway into the City yesterday instead of the Tri-State to the ‘burbs.
I did leave some foul ass-gas at the Marathon Station at the Crown Point exit though…
I know this won’t make good salsa but if you are feeling really really evil, add egg yolks and minced garlic…..
Thomas: it might make a good topping for eggs, at that! or filling for an omelette…. whoa, this is good stuff!
I picked up some of that shredded Chihauha from Costco last week.
Sweet! That would be a bunch easier than milking those yappy little fuckers.
You made yourself sick? Dammmmnn…
I don’t milk ’em, Og; I just wring ’em.
“Regular readers will understand the enormity of this statement.”
Indeed we do. That only happened to me once. It was so fkn bad that my hound dog walked from the front of the house to the back where I was and looked around the corner into the bathroom with a look that had “WTF?!?!?” written all over it. I seriously considered fumigating the house.
It was EPIC.
That gave me a woody.
I worked installs twenty years ago with a guy who ate 8 eggs for breakfast everyday. One evening during the acceptance testing for the system we went out for pizza as a group in the Caprice station wagon we had assigned for the trip. Leaving the pizza parlor I was driving, this guy had shotgun because he was the biggest in the group, three in the backseat. I heard him rip one, cranked down my window, threw the heater control to vent, fan to max, ran down the power rear window, and listened to the cries of anguish from the rear seat. I didn’t even catch a whiff of that one but I knew the awfulness of that stench from previous experience. I feel for your victim at the Hinsdale Oasis.
:-)
Hat trick, that’s just wrong. I’m so proud to know you!
Og,
I acted for self-preservation and to clear it out of the car as quickly as possible. :-)
The boss (who was in the back seat for that one) quit insisting that I drive all the time just because I was the new guy.