Neanderpundit

I don’t know about you, but I could do without a TV forever. I have no use for ’em, other than watching movies and some of the educational channels. If I were forced to give them up, I could esily cope.

Once in a while, though, you stumble onto something that you GOTTA love, and for me, nothing fits the bill like “Dog: Bounty Hunter”. Nasty looking rugged ragged old hippie biker type with tats and a face craggier than rushmore, with a wife whose coiff seeks to outdo Tammy Faye, going around chasing bail jumpers with his kids and family.

Here’s the thing: they pray for safety and guidance. They lecture the offenders they take in. They are never brutal nor un necesarily violent. They get their bail jumper, and turn him/her in. For all the outward appearance of scruffy white trash nastiness, decent people.

OK, decent tacky as hell people, but decent people nonetheless. An episode where Dog takes the little kids to buy a birthday present for Mom, takes them to the Kitsch -R- Us section of the mall, and into a store with figurines etc. of biblical scenes.
“great! Mommy’ll love this! Jesus stuff!”

Another, an earwormy hooky song by the very lovely Gwen Stefani “hollaback girl” has piqued my interest. A “Hollaback girl” (other than being a girl who hollers back letters in a high school cheer [gimme an A! “A”] is, in the reference, a girl with little self esteeme who will sleep with popular guys hoping theu’ll call them back (“holla back”).

Anyway, Gwen says
“A few times I’ve been around that track
so it’s not gonna happen just like that
cause I ain’t no holla back girl”

She’s saying Hey, fuckhead, don’t go around trying to sully MY reputation, because I’m NOT like that, and if you do, I’m gonna call you out and kick your pansy ass under the bleachers.

I liked the song, as i say, in a hook-y earworm-y way, even before I saw the video- Gwen hopping around in a red fringed majorette’s suit. Damn,for a 35 year old she’s in good shape, and not the kind of boy-assed anorectic broad you might expect. Not that she couldn’t use a cheeseburger, mind you, but still easy on the eyes. And now, at least from what I hear in that song, a deliberate non-slut. YMMV

We have, at our local parish, had a double handful of most excellent spiritual leaders, for which we are grateful.

Pitiably, all of them have left, and we are stuck with a man who couldn’t lead a pack of wild dogs to a pile of raw meat. Every sunday I see this nimrod standing at the front of the church, I think, God forgive me for listening to this fool.

Fortunately, we also have an associate pastor. A man of some humility, a man who places himself below his parish and it’s needs. In other words, a man who holds the qualifications of a real spiritual leader.

Today, we had Father Brian, the associate pastor. Instead of standing at the pulpit like everyone else, he stands and walks among the congregation as he speaks. No, he’s not one of those that feels the need to include the parisioners in some revivalist manner, he just walks around, on the same level as “us” and speaks fom the heart.

Today he spoke of the reason for worship, and it rang true: we sacrifice our time, and very little of it, for the Creator. The “official” function of the mass is “is the sacrifice of praise rendered to the Most Holy Trinity” The mass is also for our benefit in this manner: It is the gathering of the faithful to establish and maintain a sense of our greater community, and of course, for the spiritual leader to bring the words of our Savior to life in our daily lives. Nice to start a week this way.

you don’t want any of this on you

To the Illinois Toll Authority:

Look, you fucktards.

It’s bad enough that you have your theiving hands in our pockets several times every day.
It’s bad enough that you force everyone to use roads that are so sub par that I wear out several sets of $500 tires every year.

It’s bad enough that you consistently start unnecesary construction projects so you can justify keeping your worthless asses employed rather than merely fixing existing roads and paying off the bond issue.
It’s MORE than bad enough that the fly by night scumbag construction companies you hire are now engaged in wasting even more money KILLING people, requiring the loss of hundreds of thousands of dollars in bridge girders that had to be sliced up and tossed out to extricate one guy.

It’s bad enough that you have already disrupted traffic flow to the point where my commute, which should take less than an hour, now takes a minimum of 100 minutes.

This is the last fucking straw.
Now you have decided that because some of the tollbooths don’t have “high speed Ipass” you are NOW TEARING UP TOLLBOOTHS YOU FINISHED REBUILDING ONLY LAST YEAR.

Here is where I have to say to Atheists like the Du Toits, you guys are missing out.

The comfort of knowing that there is a creator of the universe, and knowing that these assgaskets will suffer in hell for all eternity, is the solitary concept that keeps me from showing up at the offices of the Toll Authority with an AK.

Sitting in traffic, waiting for some cocksocket to move 23,000 road cones so eight cars can go through the additional lane they deign to open, it’s comforting to know that the man who planned this will be spending eternity shovelling hotpatch into holes on the highways of hell, while the armies of darkness scrape fresh gouges in them second by second. It’s comforting to think of the middle management paper pushers who orchestrate this nastiness dancing in traffic in hell, while the hellish chariots of laughing demons aim for them at ludicrous speed. It’s comforting to know that every moment spent waiting for the tollways to be clear again will be paid off in the afterlife tenfold, watching the morons responsible being dragged behind the four horsemen by meathooks driven through their pubic bones.

Lissenup, assholes: your greed and stupidity is boundless. I am impressed by the hubris, which is of proportions that can only be described as biblical. I got a word you need to learn: Schadenfreude. Just you wait, you cocksuckers.